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Feb. 2 - We've gone out several times into the city. As we drive throughout the city it isn't a city compared to most American cities. It's more like a 'congested suburbs' type of area. I met with my Iraqi counterpart and we spoke of course through an interpreter. We both welcomed each other. I could tell that he was impressed that I spoke a few words of Arabic. Today was pay day for his troops so our conversation was brief but to the point. We had made plans to talk next week. So I made my way back to our vehicles outside. As we were waiting for the rest of our team members I so many Iraqi children playing outside and around our vehicles. Of course by now, they have come accustomed to US soldiers giving them candy. There was one interesting moment. A merchant came up and handed one of the soldiers a bag of bread. I was watching this from my truck. The soldier caught my eye and came over to us and offer some of his bread. My guys in my truck turned down the offer. They were afraid that they were going to get sick. Well yours truly accepted the offer. I took a piece of bread from the soldier and went back to my truck. Let me tell you!!! That was the most delicious piece of homemade bread that I have ever had!!!! Subway needs a lesson on how to make it! Another image caught my eye. There were so many boys playing and running up and down the street. Except there was a little Iraqi girl, about 7 or 8 years old trying to keep up with them. I didn't know if her brother or brothers were part of the pack and she wanted desperately to keep up with them or not. She reminded me of my daughter. She had the same coloring and hair that my daughter has. Watching her brought back memories of when my daughter and I would dance in the kitchen. I would hum a made up swing jazz tune and she and I would swing dance in the kitchen. You know to this day if I grab her and hum that tune she will still dance with me!

Feb. 4 - We went back out into the city to meet our Iraqi counterparts today. I am working with a young lieutenant. The interpreter tells me that he is a good man. In this culture there is a high level of distrust here. To be trusted by another person is almost like a place of high honor. We sat in his office which was nothing more than a sectioned off space that you would use as a storage space. He had wood walls all around it but inside he had a desk, filing cabinet and to my surprise he had two twin beds against the wall to the right. It was obvious to me that this place was also his home. In our training they told us that many of these men live off in towns that are far off from where they work. That explains why every month a large group of the soldiers go home on a one week leave. He did have a chair to offer me as he took his place behind his desk. I felt sorry for him in a way. You know that fancy pen and pencil set that most managers have in their office that sits in a fancy holder? Well, he had just some plain Bic pens in place of those. His assistant came into the room and offer us some 'chia'. Which is basically Iraqi tea. Well you know me, I couldn't hold back my smile at the thought of trying something authentic to the culture. "You like?" he asked me in the best english that he knew. "Yes, it's my first time!" I told him as he smiled at my excitement about the experience. We talked about our families and other confidential matters and soon it was time for me to go. As I stood up to shake his hand I experienced the 'man kiss'. In Arabic culture, men greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. Well of course my teammates heard about it and without a doubt gave me flack about it. Of course I just told them that if ever we are captured, they will let me go because I made the effort to become true to their culture!

Feb. 6 - There is one thing that I've noticed since I've lived here in this camp. There is not such thing as weekends here. Each day can be initially a mission day. I can see it in our guys. When we need to get equipment or something we can get it at anytime. The crazy thing about this is that when I go into the city of Baghdad it is a hard life for the people that live there. When we roll back into our camp the dynamics change. I can't believe not just how many soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen that we have here but the huge numbers of civilians that we have living are working on this camp. It just dawned on me that the United States pays alot of money to run this huge machine called the military. I can't just imagine that there are at least (i'm guessing) about a 100 people that care of the needs and concerns of each military member! Civilians are living here like they are going to work 9 to 5 back home. I know that many have made the choice to be here because of the non-tax benefits on their income. I don't if I would live and work in a combat zone. They eat in the same chow hall as we do and everything. Some of them carry a weapon on them too. All this money! Wow. I am still sadden by it all. When I think just over the fence line there are people who are struggling with just trying to survive the violence.

Feb. 9 - I live in a trailer that has a room on each side of me. The way I can tell is that there is a soldier who slams the door every morning! It sounds like a huge thunder when he does it. The walls are so thin I can here his conversations with his friends in his room. My room is made for two people but being I am a high ranking sergeant I get to have a room by myself. I have two twin beds in my room, with two wall lockers. The walls in here are covered with that cheap beige wall paneling that you would get from Lowes. On my night stand sets my computer all the time, where I romance my wife through 'instant messaging' every night. I sometimes talk to a few friends as well. I purchased a coffee pot and microwave to help with making it alittle comfortable. In one of the wall lockers I have all of the goodies that you guys sent me. Trust me I won't go hungry. On my wall I'm trying to put together a collage of photos of all my friends, so if you could send me some pictures of yourself. You with your family or pets or anything!! I will help the time go by fast. Not being able to teach everyday is taking its toll on me too. My knees have become achy lately. I have taken back up running again and of course weight training. The heat for this place is coming in May. So I hope to at least loose that belly fat of mine. The food in the mess hall is unreal! Think of this, you eating dinner every night in the food court at Carolina Place mall!! There is anything that you want to drink, even 'non-alcholic beer'. Some of you would love this. They have two dessert bars. One of them has nothing but cakes and pies and the other serves Baskin Robbins ice cream. So for me, with so many choices I have to really fight to stay on my diet. What works for me is that the Iraqis do all of the cooking but sometimes certain dishes don't taste like it does back home. The soup is sometimes too thick. Either way I am not coming home over weight!!! Don't worry about me, I walk to and from the mess hall (it's about a quarter mile walk) everyday. I limit myself of desserts and fried foods. When the heat gets here who will have time to eat all of that food?

Feb. 10 - For the sake of security and confidentiality I can not reveal the details of what happened to me today. My team and I were hit with an attack today! No one was hurt and we made it back to our camp. We assessed the damage and checked everyone out. Thank God no one was hurt. We all agreed that this is wake up call for us that we are really in a war zone and that we must pay attention as best as we can. For me, I pray before we go out and I pray before we come back in. I know God has my life in his hands. We have sophisticated weapons, equipment and trained staff but my peace rely's in knowing God is in control. I am not saying I am not afraid. I'm just saying that I have to rest in the knowledge of that to have peace so that I can do my job.

Feb. 11 - Dust, dust, dust. If you don't like dusting you won't living in Iraq. I have a office (which I have the biggest desk than anyone on team!) where I work. It is a beautiful walnut grain looking desk. I pridefully spray lemon scent Pledge on it and buff it to a magnificent shine. I can go to lunch that afternoon and come back and there is a light film of dust! There is dust everywhere. They say that if you keep the doors and window close you can control it but as my daily chore each day as I sit at my desk is to pull out a cloth and wipe away that light layer of dust. Dust gets on my laptop, clothes, hair and yes even up my nose! The weather is becoming warmer each week and I just know it's going to get worse. In Baghdad there are some side walks but for the most part some of the side streets and roads are all dirt roads. On dry days here I have experienced everything from a military vehicle to a donkey cart whizzing pass me in a cloud of dust! My skin feels like I need to exfoliate.

Feb. 12 - Today is my mom's birthday. My mother is a very strong influence in my life. She for the most part is the only person outside of my wife that understands me. As a boy I was picked on alot and when I would run to her she would encourage me and push me back out there. My mom is a minister in the Methodist denomination. She made sure all of her children were raised in the church. Trust me, my brothers and sisters and I would try to run one on her. But she wouldn't budge. I want to say Happy Birthday to my mother who I love and respect.

Feb. 13 - This camp in which I am staying is made up of a series of trailers that are protected by concrete barriers that stand about 12 feet tall. I am traveling around our camp in a SUV (can you believe that!) that we use to make our errands with. As I drive around the camp I come to the main area where Sadaam lived. This is a beautiful palace that borders a lake like body of water that comes in from the Tigris river. There are about 6 other building that are located around the edges of the lake. This place is beautiful! As I come around a turn I am much closer to one of the building. I don't read arabic so above the door is something written in arabic with a figure of a man's head on the body of a winged creature. They told us that this place was used by Sadaam to entertain guest when they came to Baghdad. It's about 6:45 p.m. here and the sun is about to go down. As I continue my drive through the compound it paints a romantic moment for any couple. The palace looks awesome as the orange sun is it's back drop. How can a guy live this life of luxury while his people were starving outside the gates of this place?

Feb. 16 - Today is my youngest daughter's birthday. She is eighteen years old today! As a soldier there will always be a time when you will miss a birthday or anniversary. She is so grown up and it's hard to let her go. Today we were ask to stay and have lunch with our Iraqi counterparts. Some of the guys definitely did not want to have lunch with them for the fear of getting sick. Well yours truly, I wanted to partake of all the Iraqi experience that I can. Our commander told us that it would be consider disrespectful if we didn't. I offer to bring the Pepto (pink stuff) should anyone get sick. We arrive to have lunch with our counterparts and they quickly shuffled all of us into a room where a table was prepared with food. Here we are, Americans on one side of the table and across from me were Iraqi officers. We had our interpreters sit in between us to help with communication. As we took our places I looked up at one of my buddies and he had this funny smile on his face. He was one of the ones who did want to eat. The meal consisted of that bread that I like, I had these strips of beef that I thought tasted like lamb, a salad, broiled tomatoes, and two creamy things that tasted okay to me but I didn't want to chance it either. I was fortunate enough to eat with a Kurdish army lieutenant. He was 24 years old, handsome, single and who spoke pretty good english. Our conversation consisted of my family, his family and culture. He was excited when I told him that the American girls would love him back home. Not understanding my humor, he asked with a serious look on his face 'why girls would love me?' I had no choice but to tell him that he was a 'pretty boy'. He laughed when we he got my joke. I told my team that we had just 30 minutes after eating this meal to get back to camp because that would be how long our digestive system would begin to fail! We finished our meal and shook hands and it was time for my team to make it back to camp. I enjoyed it. As we all left I took another piece of bread.

Feb. 19 - Dust, dust, dust is everywhere!!!!! If you don't like dust don't come to Iraq. It's everywhere! I can wipe the dust off of my desk in my office and just in a few hours you will see a light film of dust on my beautiful walnut desk! By the way I have the biggest desk in the team office! I come in after a mission and start my second job. When we come back in from our mission we unload and secure our equipment. About half of the team doesn't have the same responsibilities as me and few of the other guys have. I handle logistics, for you non-army people that means I have the responsibilities to handle the team's needs for supply of equipment, ammo, food, medical supplies, vehicles, uniforms and the list goes on! The other sergeant is responsible for administrative needs and there is one other who is our medic. So what do the rest of the guys do? I won't bad mouth anyone but let's just leave it to your imagination. Oh yeah our chief stays late every night getting his reports together. It may sound like I am complaining but I'm not. I rather have it that way but it will make my year go fast. Already some of our guys are getting quite irritable. The truth is that they are bored. I understand that you can't write a year's curriculum on shooting guns! I like my job. Some of the other sergeants were giving me a hard time in the beginning because they thought I should be doing more operation functions. That means planning battle strategies and combat stuff. Boring!! Before I came drill sergeant I worked in a supply company. When I came here one of the officers is a supply guy too. We both hit it off. He is very good at what he does. God works things out because his personality fits my perfect. He makes me laugh and he mentors me daily about the supply world. Funny thing about him is whenever I'm eating some candy at my desk and I get up to run some errands and come back, I find that my candy is has been eaten! This would irritate me long ago but now what I do is buy enough for two!

Feb 20. - We had one of our sergeants request to be moved another team. He feels that he isn't being recognized and respected for his part in our day to day planning and operations. To be fair to him it is partially true. We have several young officers that are arrogant when you try to work with them. The average years of experience amongst the sergeants are about 15 years. These young officers average about 7 years experience. One thing that I have noticed that hasn't changed since I've been out is that individuals still think their rank means that gives them privilege to not listen to the people that are around them! The Bible says 'that there is a multiple of consolers in a group of people'. The these guys are young and you would think that they would listen to the years of experience that surround them. At the same time, this sergeant's 'people skills' are not the greatest. So he tends to fold his arms and go sit in the corner and pouts. I really hope that we don't loose him but it would my life alittle easy not watching him be so unhappy.

Feb. 22 - We patrolled a neighborhood today with the Iraqis today. We went through a neighborhood that was in my estimation lower than a slum. The people were very poor living in houses that are made of plywood, mud and pieces of cheap mortar. The streets that we drove down were all dirt roads. As we stopped from time to time the children would approach our vehicles and speak to us in Arabic asking us to throw candy. These house had no indoor plumbing or electricity. I found it silly that we were driving through their neighborhood looking for bad guys with weapons that could take out a city block! These people had nothing! Personally I think it was just protocol. As we passed by the adults would stand outside their doors and look at us as we passed by. If they liked us you would get the usual 'thumbs up' sign. While driving at about 5 miles a hour we turned a corner and came to a complete stop. We saw alittle boy run passed our truck carrying two big plates of food. We all got nervous because in Arabic culture when it's time to eat they stop whatever they are doing and have lunch. I don't think that was the problem. In their culture they share their food as part of their hospitality. I heard the guys in our truck say 'oh no!' I started laughing because I knew that they were worried about their digestive system!

Feb. 24 - We are traveling back out to meet with our Iraqi counter parts. As we are driving I can hear the radio calls that are coming in from other units that are moving throughout the city. I am shocked about what I am hearing. Sorry for the details but there is one call that comes in and tells of a person that was found shot in the head and then burned! In our training they tell us that we have to be careful because when going near a dead corpse that too can be an IED (improvised explosive device) attached to it. Another call comes in reporting of a car bomb that just exploded in a marketplace! What I am hearing is unbelievable. This doesn't compared to the action that I can find on my weekly tv cop program! I have to stay focused because as we travel through the city we have to watch out for IEDs planted in the road or some crazy sniper taking pot shots at us. Through all of this I still can see the beauty in Baghdad. Today is a comfortable 68 degrees. The sun is shining and as we turn one corner and head down this street that goes into this Shia neighborhood, there is a row of palm trees that located in the medium in the road. Yet I still can take a second and enjoy this scene knowing that somewhere else there is chaos.

Feb. 27 - Guess what? I had to attend a big meeting today at one of Sadaam's palaces near the camp where I am! Most of the generals here have their offices in this palace. As I gave the armed guard my ID to clear me for entrance I was excited about coming here. The security desk gave us our badges and me and a officer headed inside to our meeting. We came through a turnstile which lead us down a driveway. The driveway was lined with lamp posts that had gold fixtures. The driveway went over a reservoir of water. As we came to the edge of the driveway we walked up a few steps to the front door. The front door was 30 feet high! It look like the door out of the movie 'The Wizard of Oz'. We went inside and the foyer was awesome! The floor and walls were all marbled with a ivory and jade green print. We step into what was a ball room and it blew me away! The ceiling had to be at least 50 feet high and in the middle of the ceiling was the biggest chandelier that I have ever seen in my life. It look more like a UFO than a light fixture. The ceiling was done in multi-colored tile pieces that were simply beautiful. Against the wall was a chair. It's the chair that I have seen soldiers on tv take a picture in! I didn't have a camera with me because I didn't know if we were allowed to photograph within the palace. So I looked around to see if anyone was looking so I quickly parked myself on the chair! On top of this big chair were the famous 'cross swords'. All I could say to myself was 'boy if Sadaam could see me now!'

Mar. 1 - Today I learned something. We went out again on a mission into Baghdad. We stopped at a police station so that my chief could talk to the Iraqi commander. Another officer, myself and a interpreter escorted our chief to building while the rest of our convoy waited for us outside. We walked into a high walled area where the front of the building was located. Our chief and the officer went inside so the interpreter and I decided to wait outside for them. As I was waited a man walked passed me with his wife walking about 5 paces behind him. Let's just call my interpreter 'Alan' for name sake. I asked "why does the women walk 5 paces behind her husband?" Alan our interpreter is from Baghdad himself and I was surprised at his answer. "When a woman walks behind her husband this is a place of honor because her husband is clearing the way for her." He went on to say, "I once got into a fight with a policeman for looking at my wife. Any man that looks or says anything disrespectful to my wife I will fight them!" Wow! I work in downtown Charlotte and I have seen countless times women not given that kind of honor by their husbands or boyfriends. I have heard of this custom before but I always perceived it as a place of submission. The truth is this woman had her husband out in front of her proclaiming his protection and love for her!

Mar. 2 - We went back out again and as we are driving through the streets it is the craziest thing. We turn down one street and there is a man crossing the street with his herd of sheep and goats! A interesting note is that I found out that the goats keep the sheep in the herd. Also I know why God calls us sheep. As I was watching this man, where ever he would go the sheep would follow him. It was as if they were trained. The disgusting thing that I saw was that the goats were also used to eat the trash that was piled up in the streets! Goats eat anything! Trust me I'm not trying to become relax while we are traveling but this part of the world is so interesting. There are so many palm trees as you go down each street. It's getting warmer and soon the summer heat will be here soon. I have lost some weight already but I hope to loose more.

Mar. 4 - It was a beautiful sunny day. We had to go on a patrol in this prominent Sunni neighborhood. Instantly I noticed the difference between a Shia versus Sunni neighborhood. The Sunni are the class that are educated and have the better paying jobs. The Shia are the class that have the low paying jobs and most can't read or write. Today was the day that I had to with 4 other members of my team dismount our vehicles and literally walk on foot through this neighborhood searching for illegal weapons! We pulled up to the neighborhood with support from another infantry unit. As we got out of the vehicle my heart was pounding. In front of our vehicle was a Bradley tank. So all 5 of us ran up to it and took cover behind it. Then about a group of about 15 Iraqi National policemen ran to the first house. It was then that two gun shots rung out! We ducked down even further behind the Bradley for cover. The thought of them dragging a body out of the house was going to blow my mind! The order was given that if no one was home the door would have to been knocked down and the house would still need to be searched. By the time the Iraqi policemen reached the third house my team and I made our way behind them. I and one of the officers with me had decided to followed the policemen inside the houses. We went from house to house. Some residents were home and some residents had left their house keys with the neighbors. There was one house we went into that totally surprised me. Most of the homes that we went into were a lot nicer than the Shia homes. All of them had furniture that were a cross between French provincial and bad motel furniture. The owner of this house escorted us in and I guess he didn't have much choice when you have 30 individuals consisting of the police and American army at your door! As we came in the door several small groups of policemen began searching the man's house. I went off to another room with 3 other soldiers. The owner showed us his living room. The man then led us to another room where he had pulled back a curtain and to my surprised it was a scenic picture of the New York City skyline with the World Trade Center right in the middle! We my jaw hit the ground. The owner could tell that I was disturbed by what I saw and he ask the interpreter what was the wrong with me. With the help of an Interpreter I ask the man why did he have this picture in this room. He explained that he had bought it in the marketplace and that he love the beauty in that picture. Well I couldn't argue with him. New York is my favorite town. We nonetheless we did finished our searching of the houses. I and my team were whipped! No body was killed and no one was hurt. Thank God!

Mar. 5 - It's my birthday! I have a group of dear friends that we celebrate each other's birthdays with (Hey Trish, Scott, Dawn and Wake!) I'm not the centered of attention with the guys so today is just like any other day here. What I will do is go get me a haircut and buy myself a card and celebrate by myself! Please don't think this a sad thing. I am alive and that's all that matters right now. So I wish myself a happy birthday!

Mar. 7 - It concerns me that the guys on my team are starting to get grumpy and irritable with each other. People are starting to snap at each other. I try to keep my distance but at the same time I try to offer some kind words. I know what it is. They are beginning to miss their families and the frustration of this mission is starting to take its toll. Life here at the camp is different. There are no weekends off, just time off. We experience the moment then it is over. We roll outside the gate and for the next 5 hours you are on the edge. Your senses are up, your adrenaline is pumped and in some way you lose track of time. I lose track of what day of the week that I am in. Why? Because each day can almost be the same and carry no significant purpose with it. For me I keep myself busy, as you know, by writing this weekly journal and collecting video for my show 'Life on the Line'. I go to gym to keep my fitness up and I attend chapel for my spiritual encouragement. I just notice that some of the guys who don't do anything for their MBS (mind, body and spirit) they are going to have problems. Some are getting letters and care packages from home but I think there is something they can do to keep themselves from going crazy. We are blessed here. The soldiers in the previous wars in combat zones such as Vietnam didn't have internet service in their rooms! They didn't even have rooms. They didn't have a full scale mess hall that offers ice cream every night. They didn't have a PX to go too or a workout gym. So there is a lot to be thankful for. I have no complaints other than I want to come home.

Mar. 9 - We traveled to our police station where we work today. The building is a big two story building that is located within a nice Shia neighborhood. As we turn the corner to go inside the station we can see children playing outside, women in their berkas walking to and fro. The neighborhood reminds me of some of the small neighborhoods I grew up in New York. The house are 1 to 2 stories tall and most houses have a small courtyard that is fenced off. The children wave to us and shout something as we pass by. I've been told that they want candy. We soon arrive in the parking lot of the station and make our into the building. I walk pass a young Iraqi policemen who looks at me and smiles as if I was special. I've been told that they want to look like the american soldiers when they wear their uniforms. I don't know why because in my opinion we carry too much crap. This body armor is heavy and I have a thousand things attached to it as well! I go inside the building and by no means this in not what you call a police station. It looks more like an abandon school. We go down this semi lit hallway and make a left turn where there are a series of doors. In each room is an office for each officer who does something for the company. Of course my dealings are with the Iraqi logistics officer. We have met each other once or twice already and as I walk into his office he is sitting behind his desk. He stands up and extends his hand to me. I decided that I would do all of the traditional Iraqi cultural stuff. So I shook his hand and I greeted him with the 'man kiss'. The men in this culture will greet each other with a hand shake and kiss each other on each cheek. As I did I could tell that he was impress that I would do such a gesture. They know that most American men would never do such a thing. With my interpreter we sat and discussed ways for him to get what he needed for his men. My job was to make sure he is following proper procedure to report to the proper channels the needs of his company. We are trying to make the Iraqis self reliant and get them to use their own resources to meet their needs. We talked for another hour and I noticed that the officer had two twin beds in his office. He had his desk, a wall locker and some chairs for guests. He stepped out of the room for second to handle some business. I asked my interpreter why were the beds here? He told me that most of the officers live in the surrounding cities outside Baghdad. When they are here they live at the station house. That explains why each month staff members get 10 days leave a month to go home to their families.

Mar. 11 - Another day on patrol through a Shia neighborhood. I am walking through this neighborhood with a patrol of Iraqi National policemen. We are looking for weapons in the houses. Some of these houses to my surprise are empty. About a good 300 yards in the distance is a big beautiful mosque. It is a big building with a blue dome that is surrounded by 5 tall towers. I am careful not to stand in front of it's view because my interpreter tells me that snipers have been reported there. We go through each house and the policemen do a great job. The only thing is that we have to watch them because sometimes they can steal personal items from a house. We came to this one house in which the people were home. The Iraqi man, along with his wife, mother and young children were inside. The soldiers searched his home and found nothing. We left the house and as we were leaving I was standing just outside the door watching the soldier leave I noticed the man's little daughter staring at me. She seemed to be about 10 years old. Her look on her face puzzled me. It was a cross between confusion and fear. I gave her a friendly wave and a smile but she didn't change her expression. I guess I would be scared too. This big 6'2 big black man, with body armor, and Oakley sunglasses carrying a pistol and M-16 with a grenade launcher attached to it would scare the hell of out of me!!!

Mar. 13 - I wish I could take back every meal that I refused to eat when I was little. Today we have to spend two nights down at the police station. Of course the team is reluctant to do it but the policy is changing here. The higher ups want all of the 'military transition teams' to spend more time 'outside the wire'. That means that we are being pressure to spend a few nights down here. Don't get me wrong the Iraqis that we work with are great but to live with them is another issue. We arrived today with our gear and moved into a wrong that they gave us. We moved 5 bunk beds into a room that was used as a office. The room was sectioned off by thin plywood on all four sides. The walls didn't go all the way up to the ceiling because there was a 2 foot gap that led to the next room. Our bunk beds are about a foot apart from each other. We arrived in the late morning to do some training. Soon it was lunch and we were served a pita like sandwich that some of the guys thought tasted good. It tasted like munch from my lawn mower and inside the bread was these like fried hush puppies. The Iraqi officer bought plenty for everyone to have at least two sandwiches! In this culture you have to be respectful and not refuse if you can anything they offer you in the form of hospitality. It was the nastiest sandwich I have ever tasted. Being a big guy all my life people want to feed me. The Iraqi officer motioned for me to have another sandwich but I was trying so hard to eat the sandwich fast. I didn't want him to see that I was dying inside from the taste. Well I got through that experience which led us up to dinner. I went to the bathroom and as I walked into the door two attendants were bringing out these two big fish! I just stared and began laughing to myself! Of course I knew instantly what dinner would consist of. About 1 hour later we were all call to the table for dinner. The attendants had 4 platters on the table. The big fish were cut into halves and laid on each platter garnished with vegetables. There were bowls of rice surrounding each platter. Well I took my seat with my team at the table. The attendants brought in flat bread (which I love) and offered it to everyone. Well me being an American I was looking for the plates and forks and knives. I sat there hoping that this wouldn't be what I thought it would be. It was. Some of the Iraqi officers begin pulling off a piece of the bread and using their fingers to pull off pieces of the fish! I could have died! There is one Iraqi officer that really likes me said to me in his broken english "eat Sgt. Lewis, eat!" I would have settled for a liverwurst, peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I didn't have to eat that fish! With all eyes looking at me I pulled off a piece of my bread and grabbed a hunk of fish and ate it. As I sat there with my fake smile chewing the flavor of the fish was beginning to taste pretty good. Then about 15 minutes later the Iraqi officer that likes me offered me from his fingers what looked like pickled cauliflower. Of course I smiled and took one for the USA. It tasted sour as it entered my mouth. I smiled and pretended that this was the greatest thing I have ever tasted. After the meal was done I retreated back to our small room and told one of my officers that I can stand much of that longer. When he asked me why, I told him that I can not eat things that don't taste good. It will upset my stomach! So horrible tasting sandwiches, fish being cleaned and washed in the men's room and people eating without plates or flatware was the crisis of my day. Can life get better? I submit that it can not!!!

Mar. 15 - Who would have thought I would be watching the sun rise on St. Patrick's day? I got up about 6 a.m. this morning. I grabbed a bottle of water and my toothbrush and headed outside to the latrine (bathroom). I chatted with the front gate guard who is American. The sky is a light charcoal gray. I can still see last night's half moon slightly through the clouds. The police station that I stay in has high fortified walls with one entry and exit way. I stand there for a moment to let the fresh air go through my lungs. I just realized that the smell inside the police stations where we are sleeping has this lingering stench to it. Once I smelled the fresh air I realize just how bad it smells. My favorite place to go and live is New York City. I remembered being inside the subway system in the city and having to smell the horrible odor that came from the transient that were relieving themselves. I remembered how it almost made me sick to my stomach. This here is different. It's a cross between the subway and dungeon where they keep people and the smell of bodies are always present. I stood there for a smell breathing in the fresh air. My thoughts for the moments take me back to my wife. For some reason the thought of how pretty her eyes are and how they are a unique color of blue makes me smile for the moment. Suddenly I can hear the 'call to prayer' which is a man singing something in Arabic and that is the moment that all Muslims lay their prayer rugs out and begin their daily ritual of prayers to Allah. To think that about 6 months ago I was walking the streets of downtown Charlotte headed to Starbucks to get my morning venti bold coffee with a shot of hazelnut! I amazes me how the morning commute to work is done almost repetitively without any thought to it at all. The city comes alive as people maneuver in their cars hoping not to get caught in traffic that Charlotte is so famous for. Also the Charlotte Gold Rush transport vehicles can be seen going up and across the streets of Charlotte moving people to their buildings where they work. Here it's different. The people live here with the sights and sounds of violence and death. I am just blown away just how easy they can do it. The sun comes up and the children come out to play. The women go out to the market place. The men if they have a job go to work to support their families. The thought is always there. Be careful!

Mar. 16 - We spent another night at the police station. The stench in this place is really bad. The smell would make some of you sick. Me and about 11 guys are cramped into one room together. They gave us some bunk beds so everyone has a bed. The mattresses are so musty the smell comes right through the fabric. I don't feel bad because there is a infantry unit that is next door to us and they have about 30 guys cramped into a small room! Being here in Baghdad over the last 3 months has made me really appreciate the simple things that I had when I lived in the United States. For instance like running water in your house. I appreciate how my wife keeps our house clean. I found out that all of the houses in the city are not running on what we might call a power plant. Electricity is comes by the way of a series of generators that are powered by diesel fuel. Because of muslim customs chicken, lamb, fish and beef are the only meat sources here. When the heat gets here, which will be in May, this place will be like a oven. Some of our guys are showing signs that they are getting sick. It's probably from the dinner we ate with them last night.

Mar. 18 - Today we are beginning a 6 day joint operation with the Iraqi army and the Iraqi National Police who I work with. What I have learned about the Iraqi police so far really blows me away. For instance, when they go out on a mission for that day they are handed their ration of ammunition for the day. I asked about food and water for their soldiers and I was told that they are given some water and a biscuit. You would think these guys are pitiful but as I spend more time with them they impress me how well they can network to have their needs met. I was on patrol one day with them and we were traveling in a small convoy through this neighborhood. All of a sudden we stopped and then a few women walked past our vehicle carrying big platters. They made their way up convoy where most of the troops were. Everything stopped because these guys had lunch brought to them from the people in that neighborhood! I have at least seen this very thing three times. Iraqi culture is so different from ours. After they eat lunch it is customary to take a 1 hour nap. I like that myself.

Mar. 20 - We are clearing houses in a Shia neighborhood. My job is to watch our National Police guys do this operation. The process is pretty easy. Every house on that street must be checked. If the owner is not home then the soldiers will break down the door to get in. If that happens we leave a form that the owner can contact the U.S. coalition forces with a claim to receive payment for any damages done to their property. There were times that a next door neighbor would coming running up to us with the house key to their neighbor's house. What gets me is that this operation is supposed to be secret and a surprise. The soldiers come into the home and go through the house looking for weapons. Each household is only allowed 1 AK-47 with one magazine of ammo. Think about it every house has a load semi automatic weapon in it!

Mar. 22 - It's about 5:30 a.m. and we are getting ready to go out again with the Iraqi police. There are about 20 trucks out in the parking with about 4 guys to each truck standing around smoking and joking. It's still dark outside as we make our way to get our trucks ready. I didn't sleep to well. Well to be honest I was up to about midnight working on my computer. Also over the walls you can hear the talk between the Iraqi soldiers. We didn't understand what they were saying but they had no consideration that we and others were trying to sleep. I was a little on edge because I wanted know what our security look like. What prevented some guy from coming up in here blowing us up while we slept. The police station we stay at is surrounded by 12 foot tall cement barricade walls. There is a guard posted at the entrance to the station and a fence that led to the building. People were coming and going in and out of the building in civilian clothing and I couldn't tell if they were enemy or friendly. The sun was slowing making its way out from behind the clouds. We must have cleared about 30 houses yesterday! I was so exhausted after that. I don't look forward to clearing houses today but somebody has to do it.

Mar. 23 - Iraqi houses are different than American houses. They are for the most part bigger. Just about every house has a fenced off courtyard in the front of the house. I guess this provides security allowing you to know if someone is trying to enter your house. There is a front gate that is locked. Once you enter into the house you can walk right into a kitchen area that is plain with a gas burning stove and a eat in dinette. Next you could go into what might be called a dinning room. Here there is big 24 inch television in there. The furniture in these houses are always of a deep red or green color. Some of the houses didn't even have furniture. I found out later that most of the houses were abandon by the Sunni and the Shia has come and taken over house. This is all legal. On the first floor it continues into another living room area and maybe a bedroom or two. I looked in the bathroom just be curious (laughing). To my surprise they had that hole in the ground thing but also a regular toilet. I saw a few houses that had a bade (a french toilet)!

Mar. 25 - The last day for clearing house. Thank God. My team and I are exhausted. We started off like every morning this week at 5:30 a.m. and moving to our link up area waiting for the Iraqi army guys. We started clearing houses and there was one house where we came in. There was the cutest little Iraqi girl. She was about 3 years old and she was crying her eyes out. She touched my heart because she looked exactly my little girl when she was that age. Her father was talking with one of the soldiers. I remembered that I had a piece of hard candy in my pocket. I walked up to her dad and asked through an interpreter if it was okay if I could give it to her. Her father said yes. His daughter ran to him and as he comforted her he told me that she was so scared! I know I must have been frightening because I am big already and when I put on my body armor and come through the door holding a big rifle with a side arm that is scary for any child. Well the little girl took my candy and she was beginning to stop crying. Then Steve one of our interpreters gave me a single serving size of some pop tarts. I gave this to her and she took those from me as well. She was so cute. She reminded me of my little girl. My little girl is eighteen now but it was a good memory. For the moment I had a lump in my throat.

Mar. 26 - I guess the thing that is crazy about being here is that everyday is almost the same as the next. We go out on mission do our thing and come back in or either spend the night out at the police station. I was telling my wife how I try to combat that problem is with my MBS concept. Mind/Body/Spirit is the concept. For mind, I am pursuing my BA degree online. For the body, you all know that, I hit the gym 6 to 7 days a week. Also I will be teaching a weekly hiphop class on post. Spirit, I seek the righteousness of God through daily prayer, Bible reading, and I attend chapel when I can. I this is working because my teammates are beginning to bicker and fight with one another. I truly believe that they are bored. It might sound crazy but I am almost glad that we leave the camp everyday. I think I would go nuts if I were the personnel that stayed here for the whole year and didn't get to see any of Baghdad. At the camp we have a gym and a place where they show movies and have internet but that stuff gets old quick. It's funny also because I can see people trying to hookup with each other. That's one thing for sure, I don't need a combat zone romance. I try to put some kind of little schedule in my life so that I have something to retreat to. Here's was a guy who was teaching 8 to 10 classes a week, holding down a full time job and family. Now I am reduced to doing one thing and one thing only. When we travel 'outside the wire' my senses become alert and heart rate increases. My eyes are watching and looking for anything that might be strange looking in the road. I am like that for at least 2 to 3 hours until I come back. When we clear the camp's entrance gates and we are back on our turf I notice that I am overwhelmed with fatigue. We go back to our rooms and take a nap to refresh ourselves and start the same process over again. That is why I encourage our guys to find a hobby or something they can escape to.

Mar. 28 - I heard on the news that there has been some retaliation between the Shia and Sunni. I can't help feeling that I am standing right in the middle of a domestic dispute. Most of you know me as a positive person. I am trying to keep my optimism up about all of this but I can't help feeling that I am fighting a lost cause. I don't get a sense that these people want to take charge of their country. They rely entirely too much on the U.S. I have gone on several patrols with the National Police. When it gets to the late afternoon some of the Iraqi soldiers are asking us for water and food. My team's goal while we are here is to help the Iraqi forces transition to take over their own operations. This means food, water, fuel and whatever it takes to run this unit. I just see us (the U.S. forces) giving them what they want. I can't help but feel like we are being taken advantage of.

Mar. 30 - I really miss being home today. I got a package from my wife a few days ago and she is really something. She put the cd set of 'All in the Family' in there. Also she put the cd set of the 'Three Stooges' in there. They make me laugh so hard. I don't know why but they do. I decided not to put a tv in my room. I want to concentrate on my writing and reading while I'm here. I realize that when I was back in the states just how isolated I was from the rest of the world. I know right now as I speak everyone is waking up in Charlotte getting ready for work or school. The rush hour traffic is in full gear by 7 a.m. The lines are forming up at Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks. The traffic down South Tryon street is increasing because it takes me about 3 to 5 minutes to cross South Tryon in my car from my sub division. The kids are standing on the corner waiting for their school bus to pick them up. Downtown Charlotte people are parking their cars and catching the Gold rush that will drop them off in front of their building. Everyone is rushing off somewhere to some place. I am just reflecting because these circumstances have slowed me down. So much so that now I can think. I can think about things like how much I love my wife and kids. I can stop and watch the sun go down. It just makes me realize how much our American lifestyle is so fast. The crazy part about all of this is when this is over for me I will jump back into this fast paced existence again.

Apr. 1 - Yesterday was a bad day. We were patrolling in a neighborhood and we were just leaving a house when all of sudden shots rang out. My partner and I took cover in the courtyard of the house. I couldn't believe it! I was pinned down by bullets that were passing over my head! It's true when they say that in those moments you think about what's more important to you. I was thinking about my wife and kids. I could feel my body press up against the wall as more bullets passed over head. Some Iraqi soldiers came through the gate into the courtyard where we were seeking the same protection. I looked at their faces and some of them seemed to not be bother by it. I guess when you live in a place like this it is a daily occurrence around here. It was then I heard a loud repetitive sound of our 50 cal machine being fired by my team mate from a truck that was nearby. I then heard one of our other machine guns firing rounds as well. For some strange reason this gave me comfort. I knew that the insurgents couldn't stand up to that kind of fire power. As I sat there crouching against the wall I remember wanting this moment to be over. There was a suddenly a break in the gun fire. All of the Iraqi soldiers were preparing to leave the courtyard. My partner was getting up to leave as well. My heart was racing because that meant it was time for me to go as well. I got up and followed everyone out of the courtyard. For the first time in my military career my rifle was raised and my thumb was on the selector switch to flip the switch from 'safe' to 'semi automatic'.

Apr. 2 - Today was a more peaceful day. If Iraq wasn't in a state of war I would love to come here for a visit. Just about every street is lined with palm trees. Orange trees can be found in some of the people's yards. I like the basic set up of an Iraqi house. Just about every house has a fenced off courtyard. I like that idea of that because the owner can lock that front gate for the evening. When you open the gate and go inside the yard you will find in most cases a nicely landscaped yard with some grass and shrubbery. There is nice lawn furniture and the driveway for the car is also within the courtyard as well. I was surprised to find out that the city of Baghdad is still not hooked up to city electricity. Some of the houses that I went into the stove is powered by butane tanks. It's the same type of butane that we would use for our gas grills. For electricity most of the houses are powered by a small little 10k generator. There was water situation isn't much better. The people have managed to obtain bottle water from a company that delivers it. Before I came here I had the same impression that most of you have about this place. That is was a dark, cold and ugly place. As my team and I travel throughout the city I see one thing that is universal. That is people wanting to take care of their families. I see children playing just like our children. The language is the only barrier that prevents me from getting to know them and them getting to know me. When I enter some of the houses and they look at me I wonder what the thoughts are running through their heads when they see me. Do they see the guy you guys know as Sgt. Roy who is a nice and friendly guy from Charlotte, NC or do they see a horrible person. When I am out on mission I have to shake those thoughts out of my mind because the reality is that I am in an environment that is dangerous. Killing and death are things that they people are used to on a daily basis. To kill me is to kill what I stand for.

Apr. 4 - We were traveling to our police station to work with our group today when a call came over the radio about a US vehicle getting hit by an IED. When this kind of thing happens all of the units that are in the area hear the call and if they can they can be the first responders on the scene. Well of course it was our day. We heard the call and our chief decided to turn around because we were in the vicinity of the vehicle. I can't reveal the names and details of the situation but thank God that everyone in the vehicle survived the blast. The medic was in that vehicle that got hit so our medic had to render care to everyone in the vehicle. The rest of us had to remain in our vehicles to pull security around the down vehicle. I heard there was one kid that had a mangled leg. Man! this is a dirty business! Long story, short resources were brought in and the vehicle was towed away and the injured personnel were evacuated to the nearest medical facility. After everything was cleared strangely enough we and everyone involved went back to the business of war!

Apr. 6 - Like I stated before my job on this team is logistics. That means that I am responsible for handling the 'beans, bullets and fuel' for the team. The responsibilites run into others areas but that also it covers the Iraqis as well. I work with the logistical officer for the Iraqis. One of the things in Iraqi culture is the delegation of power. My officer and I spent the day explaining to the Iraqi officer why he should delegate some of the work to the sergeants in his company. He sat there for a moment behind his desk and then he said "I don't teach another man my job." This is an officer we would soon learn that handled not only logistics, but also payroll, fuel, and ammunition. Iraqi men are very protective of their job responsibilities. To teach another man your job is to almost like giving it away. My officer and I couldn't understand why a person would thrust so much responsibilities upon himself. We learn through our interpreters that the more that a man did the more valuable he was to his company. It made perfect sense to me.

Apr. 8 - Happy Easter! We spent the night at the station. We had to get up at 5:30 a.m. for a mission that started early this morning. It was semi dark outside as I stood by my truck. My thoughts of course pondered back to my wife and kids for the moment. This morning was calm and the moon still was shining a bit in the clouds. It just hit me that I was standing in once was Babylon. Since I've been here I see from time to time the Iraqi men pray. Even though I am a Christian I admire their devotion to their religion. I have seen them in the middle of the day remove their boots and grab their prayer rug and find a little corner somewhere to conduct their prayers. I have seen them do this in the parking lot, hall ways, offices and any where they need to conduct their prayers. I won't go into a theological discussion about Islam but I thought wow, if we Christians could have that same devotion to our faith. These people are not ordered or forced to do this. They just do it! I understand that they were taught this as a part of their religion but it is impressive to see their devotion to it. In the states in some cases any outward display of Christian faith is met with an unresponsive attitude. I have read about the foundations of Islam and I understand the reasons behind their faith. Since I've been here in the Middle East there is a religious atmosphere about this place and it's people. These people take their faith seriously. My only response to that is that I prayer is that they all come to the 'real' truth of who God is. People have argued with me saying "how do you know that you know the truth?" All I can say to that is that I choose many different paths myself until I found 'the truth'. That 'truth' is not some thing but some one. His name is Jesus. So standing there in there in the gray darkness of the morning I fell to my knees by my truck and gave thanks to Jesus. I didn't care who was watching me. I wanted to prove to myself that I too am committed to my faith. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. It was Easter morning and I was on my knees on Iraq soil praising God! This is the day that we acknowledge that Jesus rose from the dead. This was the celebration in my heart.

Apr. 9 - Today is always a maintenance day for us. We use this time to work on our trucks, weapons and equipment. I started teaching a hiphop class at the gym on Monday nights now. All of you that know me know that I would have found some way to flex my aerobic muscles. I'm going to use this opportunity to keep my chops up but here in this combat zone you can get bored very easily. You really have to make a schedule for yourself or you will go crazy! Like I've said before each day can almost be the same routine. I am excited because also I have completed 3 credit hours of a college course since I've been here. I decided to pursue my BA degree while I am here. If you talk to my wife she will tell you that I am notorious for over extending myself. I think those skills will come in handy here.

Apr. 10 - We have to spend the night down at the station tonight. Our team has split into two trends of thought. There is the first group who thinks that we should practically live with the Iraqi 24/7. Of course the group feels that we accomplish no more than what we do already in the hours that we spend with them when we visit them. Well my opinion is of the second group. Our business with our Iraqi counterparts are wrapped up in a matter of hours when we are there. When we are done we usually sit around in their little dinning area and watch television and play cards. There has been a few times when the Iraqis know that we are coming the people that we have to meet with are not there! I think they feel the pressure of having to entertain us. At the station most of all the Iraqi personnel live there at the station. There are beds inside their offices. Once a month they go home on leave to see their families. I truly am feeling like I am going through the motions on all of this. We are attempting to have training classes for their staff but it is evident that they have these classes on our behalf. One thing is apparent, they want money and the things that we can provide for them.

Apr. 11 - We were out on patrol this morning with the Iraqi National police. We were almost done when one of the soldiers found a dead body out in a open field. Just my luck I was outside the truck on dismount with my officer. I was told to run back to the truck and retrieve a body bag that we had because the Iraqis didn't have one. Oh boy! I wasn't up for this! Thank God, that it was determined that this was their responsibility so the bag along with some rubber gloves were handed to them for this task. It was green field that faced a row of houses. There was a six foot wall that separated the field from the houses. Behind the wall was the body. It was reported that the body didn't have a head. Also (sorry) but dogs were feeding off of it! I was on one knee with my weapon at the ready watching about five or six Iraqis as they went behind the wall to retrieve the body. It was about 15 minutes later when they returned carrying the body bag to a truck that was waiting nearby. For some crazy reason I wanted to go over there and see the body. It is no doubt that this kind of thing happens on a regular basis. Who was this person? I learned also today that when a body is found according to Muslim customs the body has to be buried within a 24 hour time period. It is against their religion to do an autopsy. Their idea of an autopsy is making sure that the person wasn't tortured. That's it. I am going into my fourth month being here and already I feel the weight of all this.

Apr. 12 - The weather is really picking up. I think it's about 85 - 88 degrees outside. I know next month is going to be brutal. My wife informs me that Charlotte is cold and has been getting a lot of rain. It's April already and I have about 5 months to go until I go on leave. One of our guys is the first to go on his leave in two weeks. I'm starting to think that maybe I should have put mine in around this time because I could really use some at home time. I could use a big fat greasy pizza from Lugi's right now. The streets of Baghdad in some places are starting to look cleaner now. Contractors were hired to move out all of the trash that is practically piling up in front of the houses. There are some guys that are hired to sweep the roads. The neighborhoods in my opinion are still too segregated for me.

Apr. 14 - I spent the day looking for some presents to send my wife because her birthday is coming up next week. I don't have much to choose from. The PX (post exchange) offers some things but are limited in their choices. We have on our camp shops that we call 'Ha gee Shops'. These are shops that are owned by local Iraqi businessmen. I buy a few things from them but they can really mark up the price on certain items. For instance, if I brought a printer for my computer it would cost me under $100 at Walmart. This man that runs this particular 'Ha gee shop' sells a HP printer that I know cost maybe at the most $100 at most for $250! I was told that these vendors really have us the goods on us because we are so far away from the states that if we want a certain product we will have to pay the additional costs. I found a few nice items to put into a box for her. I was surprised that it was difficult to get a 'Happy Birthday to my Wife' card in the PX. For obvious reasons there are more men here than women. Nonetheless I got her items boxed up and sent off to Charlotte to her. I hate to miss her birthday. Happy Birthday honey!!!! She is my heart!!!! After all these years(25) she still drives me crazy!!!!

Apr. 16 - We are at the station today. I sat with one of our interpreters, let's just call him Steven. We were sitting in our sleeping area and I asked him what the future held for him in Iraq. He said "Iraq has a long way to go. It will take at least another 25 years until Iraq is changed. I hope to come to America with my family. It is not safe here." Steven use to be an accountant. He is a 32 year old Iraqi man who is married with two children. He travels with us as one of the four interpreters that we have on our staff. Of the four he strikes me as being very mature and professional in his work for us. His dark olive skin, and well trimmed beard mixed with his controlled and calm nature makes him likeable. I feel sorry for him because he does deserve to have a life for his family in a country that is safe. It is also sad that he has no faith in the sovereignty of his country. I have been an American all my life. I have never had my way of life threaten at all. The closest reference is the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center. Wow how these people must live! When this is all over I come back to my family, house and job. America will still be here standing!

Apr. 17 - I'm a little nervous because despite what you here on the news it's been relatively quiet in our sector of Baghdad. There are occasional mortars that attempt to hit our camp and an IED (improvised explosive device) here and there. Anyone who's been here will tell you never to relax because anything can change in a split second. The first of one of our teammates is going on R&R leave in a week! I'm excited because every two and half weeks some one will go on their leave. On this eleven man team I will be number eleven when my turn comes. I chose to go late because when I return from my leave I will have only three months left until I finally come home. The guys that go early will have a longer wait. As I travel throughout the city I get a crazy thoughts about what it would be like to live here. We passed a house today in a neighborhood we were patrolling and the front yard was simply beautiful! The person had a couple of palm trees in the front yard and had planted an array of flowers. It always amazes me how these people can do so much with so little. For example the mechanics that take care of the police vehicles had removed an entire engine from a truck with just a screwdriver and an adjustable wrench!

Apr. 19 - Today is my precious wife's birthday. I sent her a gift box with some items that I brought here. I am older by one month so she calls me 'the old man'. I asked my children to take her out to dinner for me. My wife is very modest and I am the opposite. If I was there I would spoil her rotten for the whole day! I thank God that after all these years I am still crazy about this woman! As one of Charlotte's finest instructors many of you know that I am around beautiful women night and day. But when my wife comes into the room my attentions quickly turn to her. She has a smile that takes my breathe away. It's the same smile that bowled me over when I met her in college. She has been the one behind the scenes that makes me 'me'. In the moments when I don't feel like I can go out and take on the world she is the only one who has pushed me. She has and will never let me live below my potential as a person, husband, and father. I love her for that. There is a line from this Jim Carey movie that describes perfectly her attitude with me where he says "behind every great man there is a woman rolling her eyes!"

Apr. 20 - I am riding as the gunner today in one of the trucks. There is one guy that drives me crazy! For sake that he might read this I can't reveal his name. As the day begins the four us prepare the truck and ourselves to move out for today's mission. We check all the fluids and gauges on the truck. We load up our additional equipment and pre-load our pistols, M-16s and put on our body armor. My job today is to mount the 240B machine gun. I will be riding in the rear vehicle so that means I will be riding the whole time facing backwards. My job will be covering the rear security of our convoy. Well we are all mounted, in our seats with our headsets and Oakley sunglasses on and pulling out the front gate in the direction of downtown Baghdad. This group in this truck are a fun group of guys. Except as we travel down the road there is one guy who is beginning to grind on my nerves. Everyone in the truck has a sense of humor. So some one is always telling a funny story or two including yours truly. When this particular guy speaks I notice that in every sentence he uses the words 'I' or 'me'. Now understand this isn't something that I just found out about this person. All the guys agree that this person if you were to carry a conversation with him the whole dialogue would be about him! As I listen to him in the truck if some one has done something this guy has done it better. There was one day this guy talked about how much money he was making on this deployment. All of us have be tolerant of him but I can tell you that as the time draws near somebody is going to confront him about his piety. I don't know if it will be me. Well to get through this day I reached down and turned off my headset so that I could enjoy the rest of my ride.

Apr. 22 - Medical care here in Baghdad is pretty poor. I feel sorry for our medic. Whenever we come to the station the Iraqis will come to him with their aches and pains instead of seeking the help of their own medic. I was blown away to find out that if an Iraqi is shot he will seek medical attention from the Americans before he will go to the local hospital. I asked why and was told that the level of care in the hospital is so poor that they were afraid that they would die there. Also their level of care depended on whether they were Shia or Sunni! Today two men were brought in injured because they were in a car accident. First of all they were brought in the back of a truck. I was sitting on my bed at the station when one of the sergeants came in with the news. Our medic was sitting on his bunk across from me. When he heard about the incident his response was "this is something they should handle." Since I've been here in Baghdad I am beginning to learn my part in this whole scenario. The is Arabic word is 'wasta'. That means we have 'clout'. We have influence to get whatever they need. I don't mind giving but as I stated before the big picture here is to make this country self sufficient. So far it doesn't look that good. We are still handing out to soldiers water and food when we go out on missions together. Medical care for the National Police is horrible. I have seen the Boy Scouts do a better job. The truth is this life here is based on alliances and relationships not on the solidarity of Iraq.

Apr. 24 - I check my cds to make sure that the sequence is correct for three classes I will teach back to back. I look through my gym bag to make sure that I have a fresh supply of bandanas to change into between classes. I go over the choreography sequences in my mind to make sure my transitions are smooth and easy to follow. I start my warm up music, put on my microphone headset and take the podium with the attitude 'I'm going to kick their butts like there's no tomorrow!' I woke up only to find that I am lying in my bed at the base camp. Wow! I'm glad I had that dream because I was beginning to not dream in american anymore. All of my dreams were of Iraq and I was slowly loosing memory visions of people, places and things.

Apr. 26 - My attitude is changing everyday about this mission. I'm told that we are to be advisors to the Iraqi National Police but instead what I see is that we are going on endless missions with these guys. It starting to look like to me that we are almost like we are providing protection for them as they do their missions. There is one thing that is true some of them have to be watched because we have had problems with some of the soldiers stealing personal belongings out of the houses. Truthfully I haven't train any soldiers nor have I taught any classes. I'm beginning to feel like a real 'infantry' soldier! There are a few of the guys on this team love the way things are going but the rest of us are really upset by this setup. One of our drivers had noticed that our team has logged more miles on the road than the team we replaced in their first year of operation! We have done night missions, day missions, double missions and raids. I'm dusty and dirty all the time. I could use a few days at our camp to rejuvenate myself. I'm filling in for one of our gunners while he is on R&R leave. I didn't know riding in the gunner's hatch would be so painful. I sit on a cushioned bench swing seat. At the end of the day I feel like my butt is going to fall off! My face is wind blown and I am covered with dust. I know it seems as if I'm complaining and I might be but this is an experience I will never forget!

Apr. 27 - I learned another custom today. I noticed as we travel the streets of Baghdad some of the men tend to carry these string of beads in one of their hands as they walk. I asked our interpreter what that meant and he told me that the beads are almost the equivalent to the rosary beads that are carried by Catholics. Where the beads are tied there is a tassel. There are certain number of beads to the left and right of the knot. My interpreter tells me that when the man is walking he recites an affirmation of his faith such as 'Allah is great, there is no other god' based on the number of beads from the left of the knot. When the man is done he go the other way to the right of knot and recite something like 'God forgive me, you are great' that many times. If no affirmations are recited then it is used as something for them to do while walking like playing with one's car keys.