I

August 1 – Thank God August is here! I didn’t think that this month wouldn’t get here. It is apparent that it was smart on my part to take leave late in the year. The weight of this deployment is starting to show signs on my team. The guys are become more and more irritable and frustrated everyday. I, myself got written up for talking back to our Master Sergeant who is second in charge next to our chief. It’s not my nature to get in trouble but there is more to this story. This particular Master Sergeant is a transfer that I wrote about 5 months ago. Well this particular person would turn out to be my former First Sergeant from my unit at Fort Jackson. His bad reputation has followed him everywhere he has gone. When I heard that (let’s call him MSG (master sergeant) Payne) was coming to my team my heart just sunk. The short of this is that he has a reputation of manipulation and dishonesty. Well things were going well for about two months. We had to re-arrange our room assignments. Yes, you guess it; he ended up being my roommate! For the first two weeks of rooming together, I would have to listen to him gripe and complain about our team. He boasted for hours about his prior experience in Afghanistan two years earlier and how it had made him the best judge on how this mission should be conducted. As I listened to him I began to hear another message. I saw a 42 year old divorced man, with two young sons who found pleasure in being on active duty as much as he could. It was evident to me that this choice had cost him dearly. His wife left him, he lost his family and as time went on I would soon learn that he was just an unhappy guy who enjoyed making other people unhappy. His opinion was that our team should be living 24/7 amongst the Iraqis. He went on to say about our team that all we cared about was our on comforts and how we didn’t have a vested part in this mission. This brings me up to where I am now. This MSG Payne took it upon himself, unbeknownst to our team chief, to email several key people in the army about our team. So for about a week we were visited by two Sergeant Majors, one Colonel, and two Generals! Well of course the guys on the team couldn’t believe what MSG Payne had done and so a wall of dissention and disrespect began to form. Only if it was business related would the team speak to him. I myself wasn’t surprised by this because I have seen MSG Payne do this same manipulation years before in a similar situation. So now it’s August and the new issue is that our new team chief has us staying out at the station five to six nights a week! Our old chief had to leave to take up a position at brigade. So now the spotlight is on my team and our new chief is in a position to fix this.  To make matters worse the new team chief that they gave us is worse than the first! This chief was holding a desk job at another camp. He is so excited about the opportunity to be in combat zone he has gone totally in the opposite direction. Last week he had us execute a 24 hour patrol schedule with the Iraqi National Police. Before that we would do about 3 to 4 patrols a week with them; Last week we did 3 to 4 a day with them! Our new chief likes staying at the station. Also he is riding a wave of trying to do and be everything to the Iraqis. He promises them equipment, supplies and our support in anything that they want to do. In a way this was our posture with the Iraqis back in January when we began working with them. As time went on we would learn to set boundaries on what we would do for them and what we wouldn’t do. If you don’t set boundaries for them the Iraqi’s needs and wants will overwhelm you. Being Americans they instantly think that we are and should be the source for all of their needs. We are trying to break this cycle of co-dependency.

August 2 – I am learning an interesting fact about the Iraqis that we work with. Their commitment level is not equal to that of the American soldier. Where we sleep at the station we keep a communication radio on so that we can listen to radio calls that come into the station. You guys know me; I was up late of course working on my computer. I heard one of the American soldiers called in a report that none of the gun positions were being manned by any of the Iraqi policemen! In the American army this kind of thing wouldn’t happen at because if it did it meant some really bad repercussions for all the parties who would be involved. Also they prefer that Americans go out on patrol with all the time. I have seen these guys in action. At the slightest sound of gunfire they will run and not pursue the enemy. There could be just two guys who are shooting at 15 of them. Still all in all they will run away from the battle. Our new team chief wants so bad to make a difference over here that he is willing to have us provide for the Iraqis at any cost. We have brought to these guys items like barbed wire, sandbags, bullet proof glass, food and fuel. As the days go I am finding myself less tolerant of their needs. I hate to be that way but I’m just not seeing any initiative on their part to take ownership of their situation.

August 3 – I want to take the time to acknowledge the achievement of my daughter Jordan who has graduated high school from the Rod of God Christian Academy. Way to go Jordan! This is my youngest child who will be living soon to attend college. My wife and I are empty nesters! I receive this news with great joy and sadness at the same time. All of my children are grown and will be out on their own trying to make a difference in the world. It’s got to be about 120 degrees today. We got the word that we will be heading out with the Iraqi National Police today on patrol. As I’ve stated before with the changes our new chief has made this includes more nights for us here at the station. I’m loading up all of my equipment and I’m headed out to the truck. I know when I am done with the mission my uniform will be totally soaked with sweat from head to toe. It doesn’t take us long as a team to mount up and leave the station. My next question is “where are we going?” Our area of responsibility is becoming so familiar to me that I really think that I could find my way.

August 4 – My Iraqi Dream ….. I was so exhausted from the day of patrols that our chief has scheduled from us. We had spent about four hours out and about in our sector of a small Shia neighborhood. When we come back into the station the team’s demeanor is one of anger and disgust. Most of us question his reasoning behind having us work such an aggressive schedule. The trucks are unloaded and everyone stammers back into our team room soaked to the skin in sweat. We all make the means to make ourselves comfortable and prepare to go to bed for the evening. As I drifted off to sleep I had this dream in which this Iraqi boy of about 11 years of age was standing in front of me. I was drinking a bottled soft drink and I remembered that the boy had asked me if he could have a sip of my drink. I handed it to him and he began to drink it aggressively. It was then that I grabbed the bottle from him. The boy immediately became angry with me and he grabbed the bottle from me and hit me in the face with it! Without even thinking I grabbed the bottle from him and broke it over his head! It was then that I woke up feeling strange that I why would I dream such a thing? I analyzed this dream over and over in my mind trying to make some sense of it meaning. The only thing that I could come up with was that the little boy represented Iraq. The bottle drink was all of the aid and support that I had to offer him. When the boy began to abuse the support that I offered him I took it away from him. That is when the boy became indignant and angry with me, so much so that he struck me. I became so surprised at this response that I too retaliated and struck the boy back. By no means do I have any aggression against Iraqi children but I saw a lot of symbolism in this dream. I am not psychic nor am I clairvoyant but I thought it was weird that I would have such a dream.

August 5 -  As I’ve stated before we are pushing a heavy patrol schedule with the Iraqi National police. We are staying longer at the station than usual. There is a growing apprehension of mistrust that is growing between the American and Iraqi forces here. I was surprised to here that the Iraqis do not like to be told what to do. When we offer our advice in regards to how they should run their patrols they tend to become quietly defensive. I have noticed signs of passive aggressive behavior when they don’t want to do something. They will show up late to patrols or either they will not come at all. I also noticed one night a call came in over the radio from one of the American soldiers in the guard tower. The soldier had called in to the Sergeant of the guard reporting that none of the Iraqi guard positions were manned! It was about two in the morning and I happened to be up writing on my computer when I heard it. I don’t know what happened after that incident but everyday it is evident to me that there is a problem here. When I bring you these stories I try to become objective so as to not influence your opinion about why America should be here. I want you the reader to make up your own mind. I just want to report the stories and situations that you can’t see being there in America. I know as for me this whole experience has truly changed me. I have recanted some of my opinions that I have about this war, our leadership and the direction we are going in. It is still my desire that you make up your own mind as I bring you tidbits of information about what it is like to be here in Baghdad, Iraq.
August 6 – I have about 37 days until I go home!!!! I am so excited about it. I really need this break. I am the second to the last person that is going on leave! I set it up this was so that when I return back to Iraq I will have only 3 months left until I return home for good. I want to thank all of you for your care packages, emails and prayers of support. I still have a little ways to go until I finally come home but I want you all to know that I couldn’t have made it without you all! Trust me this overall has been time well spent. I have been doing some soul searching and I have found room for improvement in every aspect of my life. I eagerly can’t wait to get started on some personal goals that I have for myself. There is tension growing in our sector this week. It was reported that some Iraqi police were involved in some deadly foul play! This is not the first time that I have heard about such an incident. There have been complaints of illegal checkpoints being set up where they take money from the local people. As a team we try to stay clear of political conversations with each other. There was one comment that was made by a soldier in which he said “things were much better here when Sadaam was in power.” I kept myself out of that conversation because when it comes to politics people will give you most of the time their feelings and not the facts. I almost took the bait but I stayed off that topic. In Iraq alliances are formed and loyalty to someone or something is serious matter. We have been told to watch what we say and how we respond to them. There has been some RPG (rocket propelled grenade) fire against our station. Well it was too quiet anyway. The last 4 months have been peaceful in our sector. I guess it was wishful thinking to think this peace would continue.

Aug 7 – It’s amazing how we can find humor in such a bad situation. We got some other soldiers from another unit to fill in for some of our guys who happened to be on leave right now. The soldier’s names are Specialist Catelli and Sergeant Seaver. They will be with us for about two weeks. Sergeant Seaver learned that our call name on the radio is ‘Dirty’. “Oh I didn’t know that was you guys!” he said one day as we were doing our routine patrol through a local neighborhood. “We would hear you guys on the radio all the time.” My captain who was sitting on the passenger side asked “what so strange about that?” “Well sir, we would call in that certain roads were ‘black’ and that possible IEDs were on these roads. It would then be about 5 or so minutes when we would hear you guys call in your position on these roads.” It was then that we all began laughing in the truck! “You’re kidding, right?” my captain asked as if it was some story the young sergeant was making up. “No sir, we thought you guys were the Special Forces that were moving in and around Baghdad at will.” Again laughter consumed the truck. Listen Charlotte, that is why I pray; I don’t put my trust in these weapons, equipment and definitely not in the hands of these people! I shutter at the thought of how many times that we were driving up and down these roads with bombs that were waiting to explode! I have to admit I was laughing too! You just can’t help laughing because if you didn’t all of this would get the best of you.

Aug 8 – We were out today and in the neighborhood doing what we call a ‘goodwill’ meet and greet with the Iraqi people today. My team got a bunch of soccer balls, toys, and candy to hand out to the children. This also reminds me that if any of you want to contribute soccer balls, school supplies or candy to our cause feel free to send them and I will personally see to it that the children get your gifts. My contact information is on my website at (www.sgtroy.com). Well today the heat had granted us mercy so all of the children were out and playing about in the neighborhood today. It really is no different than the old neighborhood that I grew up in New York. The children had setup a soccer game in the street. Whenever a car would pass by all play would stop until the car would pass by. Some of the other children were playing tag and just horse playing on the side walks. When they see our trucks coming it’s just as if we are a Good Humor ice cream truck! Every kid will stop what he or she is doing and they will shout “mista, mista” at us indicating that they want a soccer ball or candy. Well today was special to me. One of my teammates was out of the truck and he was handing out soccer balls to the children. He was surrounded by at least 50 kids all wanting a ball. When he exhausted his supply of balls the children then indicated to him that they wanted candy. Well somehow what out the assistance of an interpreter he got the children to come back to my truck?  My teammate said to the children “I don’t have any candy but I know a certain individual who always has candy on him. Go back there and just shout ‘Big Lew’!”  So I was sitting up in the turret watching my sector when I think I hear my name being called. “Big Lew! Big Lew!” Of course the Iraqi children have no idea what this means but they are willing to say it if it gets them candy. I stand up to get a better look and I see about twenty children smiling and waving at me. I look across the street and I see my teammate laughing his head off. So I had no choice to respond. I thought that was the coolest thing having those Iraqi children shout out my name! I would have preferred the shouts of ‘Sgt. Roy’ but hey at least in Baghdad they know who I am.

Aug 9 - Well I have 30 days before I go on leave. It will be weird to be back home. It is so true that the more and more that I concentrate on my work over here I lose some of mental references of home. I stop dreaming in American 4 months ago. I’m sure when I am home for good I will have no problem catching back up with the times. My captain and I met with our Iraqi counterpart who is an Iraqi captain himself. We were at the station today and Captain Sadt caught me and my captain as we coming back in from a patrol. Through the assistance of an interpreter he said “I want to meet with you both if it is possible.” My captain said “sure, we can do that in about 15 minutes if you like.” Captain Sadt agreed and we made plans to meet him in his office. We went inside to our team room, put our gear up, dusted ourselves off and got a cold drink. We were soon sitting in Captain Sadt’s office with our interpreter. “I would want to show my appreciation to you and Sgt. Lewis for all of your help” he began as he sat behind his desk. He slowly placed a plastic bag on his desk and began to remove its contents from the bag. He gave my captain a white box for him to open. My captain instantly was surprised by Captain Sadt’s gift. My captain opened the box and inside was a ‘DIS,TASHA’ which is an Iraqi man dress. It was all white and the collarless. It almost looked like a shirt of a priest but only longer. Captain Sadt gave my captain another box. Inside was one of those headdresses that you see Arabic men wear with the black rings that sit on top. Wow! My captain and I expressed extreme thanks to Captain Sadt for making such a gesture. He then turned to me and through our interpreter said “I would have gotten you one but I didn’t know your size. You are a big man.” I joked with him by saying to him “that is the story of my life. The Army has a hard time finding clothes for me too!” It was then that Captain Sadt spoke to our interpreter and made him get up to go get something. Our interpreter soon returned with a measuring tape. “Sadie” (which means ‘sir’ in Arabic) “you don’t have to get me anything. I am so please that you would do for my captain” I said hoping to change the subject. In Iraqi culture when a gift is offered one should received that gift with thanks. It can be received as ill manners if a gift is rejected when it offered. Well my captain who is such a cut up changed into his new gift and to our surprise everything fit! We took some pictures of him and Captain Sadt in his new suit of clothes. Our interpreter would soon tell us that for Captain Sadt to do such a thing meant that he really appreciated and respected our work with him. That really made my day because it spoke to me that I did something of value here in this

ug 10 – We were given a team ‘rest’ which meant we have three days off in which we can do whatever we want. Today is the first of those three days. For me that doesn’t really mean a lot to me. My life in the past year has been limited to this camp and the police station. Don’t get me wrong I will find it great to sleep in the next morning having no mission to accomplish but it’s not like getting in my car to drive away for a quick weekend getaway. Also I have noticed that some of the units here on the camp are preparing to deploy back to the states. You can tell the soldiers that are going home. I was dropping off my laundry at the service building and next to me were three female soldiers who were thanking the laundry staff for their service. “I will never forget you, thank you for everything you have done for me” the soldier said as she reached across the counter to get the man who worked behind the counter. I know soon this will be me too! The new units that are coming in are all new soldiers with new uniforms, untanned skin and a sense of excitement that they are glad to be here. It’s funny how 8 months ago that I too was walking around like that. Now I’m considered an old timer, one who is experienced only by time. Well for my for piece of business for my day off is that some of the guys are going to get together for a pizza tonight. I can really use that treat tonight.

Aug 11 – Whoa! I slept to 11:00 a.m. today! I haven’t done that in years! I have to admit that it felt great! Some of you that know me I have always functioned on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. I really find sleeping to be a waste of my time. I have to admit it feels great when you do get some adequate rest. I have a ton of emails to respond to and some letters to write. Also I have been able to take some online courses that will renew my fitness certification. So I have a few things to keep me busy today. It is so hot outside I think I will eat my lunch in my room. There isn’t much going on today except me getting some well deserved rest!

Aug 12 – We are back at the station again. It is so funny how we can get some antics going around here. As the logistics sergeant for the team I had to go draw food for my team while we are at the station. Most of the food is juices, soda, milk, bread, cereal, coffee, sugar, muffins and honey buns. Well many of you that know me I am particular about eating baked goods. I prefer homemade or coffee shop baked goods as compared to pre-packaged stuff. Well we were issued 4 boxes of honey buns. Well the members of my team torn into them. This one sergeant is trying so hard for me to partake of one of those honey buns. So much so that one day I came into our team room where my bunk is located. I sat down on my bed and I felt an object under the blanket. I reached under the blanket and pulled out a honey bun! I started laughing and I noticed the sergeant who was on his bunk across the other side of the room was laughing too. I threw the honey bun back at him and said “good joke but you’re not going to get me to eat one of those things!” I sat back on my bed and I adjusted my pillows to get comfortable when I noticed under the pillow another honey bun! I then began a search of my entire bed and I found another honey bun! This sergeant is good for practical jokes but I have to admit that prank made my day!

Aug 14 – It was about 12 midnight when my interpreter and I were sitting in the Iraqi maintenance officer’s office. My captain had suggested that I go over and chat with him to see how things were going with him. “Sergeant Lewis!” he said as he opened the door to greet me. He embraced me with the traditional Iraqi male greeting with a kiss on each cheek. “Salaam” I replied being excited about the opportunity to use the little Arabic that I know. The Iraqi captain led us to two chairs that were placed in front of his desk. “Chai?” he asked me knowing I would jump at the offer because since we have been here my captain and I have become hooked on Iraqi tea. Not only do they serve it with a heaping serving of sugar at the bottom of the cup but we enjoy the rush that the caffeine gives us.  As an ice breaker I would start our conversation by talking about the Iraqi soccer team who just won the big Asian Cup competition recently. In Iraqi culture getting straight to business before discussing current or social events is considered by most to be impulsive. So the Iraqi captain and I for about 20 minutes conversed about the success of the Iraqi soccer team. Talking that long with the aid of an interpreter can be a long drawn out process but after awhile I got straight down to business with him. My questions are always about the same issues. That is vehicle maintenance, equipment and important of all fuel. He ensured me that these areas were doing fine but he had a request of me. My interpreter couldn’t interpret the word of the thing that he wanted. It was the funniest thing to watch, the three of us sat there doing hand gestures trying to understand each other. I had no idea of the word he was trying to say so after exhausting ourselves with the English language we both decide we would look at one of his vehicles tomorrow because it would clue me to exactly what he wanted. Well tomorrow came and it was about 6 p.m. when the Iraqi captain came over to our building where we are staying and show me the object he was talking about. He showed me this half inch piece of pipe that was about 12 inches long. It was bent into the shape of an ‘L’. At the end of the ‘L’ a lug was welded to the end of it. It was a spark plug wrench!  What I was holding was a homemade spark plug wrench. The captain was asking me for a spark plug socket wrench.  I guess there isn’t a word for that in the Arabic language.  What impressed me most of all about that wrench is that primitive looking as it may be, the darn thing can be used as a wrench! I really believe this country is ready to meet its own needs.

Aug 16 – A small world

One of my responsibilities is the handling of team’s petty cash fund. I make purchases for the team each month and at the end of the month I have to close out my books at the finance office. Well I was instructed to close out for August early so I proceeded to close out my books. There is a series of places that I have to visit before I finally get cleared to close by finance. Well I did my roundabout as usual to prepare to clear finance. It was about 2 p.m. when I made it to the finance office. I started my mission about 8:30 this morning so I was getting tired as the day edged on. I came in and signed in on the clip board to see the next available finance officer. I took a seat and there was a young female soldier who was at the reception desk. I have seen her several times before because like I said I have to close my books each month. She and I had a running joke about her because the first time I had met her it was her first time in Iraq. That day as I was drawing money for my team some incoming mortars hit our camp. She jumped up from her chair terrified! Her supervisor was working me on my account when he excused himself to say “I need to check on Specialist Terry she gets really scared when these things happen.” The mortar attack only lasted a few minutes and soon we all were back to business. Well today Specialist Terry and I was chit chatting about that incident and she asked at which post I serve at in the states. I told her that it was Fort Jackson, South Carolina. I told her that I was a reserve drill sergeant there. It was then that she clasps her hands to her face and she began laughing. “What?” I said trying to figure out her little secret. “Sergeant Lewis you won’t believe this, but you where my drill sergeant at Fort Jackson! There were these drill sergeants that had to take care of us for about a week before we shipped to our basic training unit. I remember you! I was so scared and I remember you because you were so nice to us!” Well of course I train so many soldiers that it is hard to remember them all but she was right. I didn’t have an assignment like that while I was at Fort Jackson. I was touched by her remembrance of me. I rather be know as the rough and tough drill sergeant but to touch someone’s life for a moment and they remember you for it is well like they say on television, it’s priceless!

Aug 17 - I don’t watch a lot of television but there is a concern that I have. I know that I come from the land of free and the home of the brave. I know that freedom of speech is well protected in our country. One night I was watch a comedy show and the comedian had made several comments about our President. I also understand that the election year is coming up. I don’t believe in telling who to vote for. All I say is vote your conscience and that is between you and God. What I have learn from being over here is that as Americans we don’t know just how protected we are. You can say any thing you want about the President or the government without fear of reprisal. Over here if a person isn’t in the right group or alliance they can mysteriously disappear or be kidnapped for a ransom or worse is found dead some where! I have grown so proud of our men and women who serve in the armed forces! These men and women protect your freedoms that you treasure so dearly. It is because of these people that you don’t have invaders coming over here and dictating to you the life you ought to live. I know as an argument some people think that America is doing that to the Iraqi people but I want the world to know that I have seen such a huge presence of American support over here. It is so big here that I question “where are the rest of the countries?” I have seen some British, Australians, and Koreans. The biggest barer of the load over here is us. If you could see how your tax dollars are being consumed over here you would flip your lid! I also understand that the freedom to express ideas and speech is something that is necessary to the success of our country. I’m in a place where individual freedom is discouraged along with the expression of ideas contrary to the norm. For this I am eternally grateful and in no way be intimidated by it. This is what makes America great! I know we have our problems too but the freedom to ‘be’ is such a precious gift that we shouldn’t take for granted!

Aug 19 – Oh boy, the call has gone out. We have to mount up to get ready to go in this big mosque. I see this big mosque all the time when my team and I are out on patrol. They say this mosque is responsible for hiding insurgents and other fraudulent activities in the area. We have been given our brief by our team leader and soon we are out the gate headed down the road towards the mosque. We are told that there could be a chance of some exchange of gunfire. We are told that we have to make positive identification before we ever think of returning fire. I’m in my truck and already it’s about 110 degrees already. We make our way down the road and soon we are turning into the main road that leads into the mosque. What makes this mission dangerous is that Americans are not allowed in Muslim mosque at all. This was a special mission so whether or not we had permission we were going in. We got in through the front gates and took up our position within the mosque. The grounds on this mosque are simply beautiful. It has to be about 5 to 10 acres of land that is sectioned off by high concrete walls. Inside the walls is this beautiful mosque. It is a blue dome like building that is surrounded by six tall pillar buildings. This mosque is considered to be one of the major places for Muslim studies in Iraq. As I said we came in through the gates with our huge force of National Police, Iraqi Army and us through the front gates. To my relief we were not met with any resistance. I have to admit that with the large show of force that we were displaying I wouldn’t have tried anything either. Well we held our positions for about three hours as the Iraqi soldiers conducted their search of the mosque. The operation was soon finished and everyone involved packed up and headed back out the front gate. I have driven past this mosque for the past eight months since I’ve been here. I knew without a doubt that this place was harboring insurgent activity. The outcome proved to produce very little results but at least we sent out a message that this place is being watched very carefully.

Aug 20 – This war is really putting a strain not only on the soldiers but their families as well. We traveled out to another camp today to bring our chief to a meeting that he had to attend. This gave us a chance to eat lunch and relax for a few hours before heading out. We decided that all of us would meet back at the trucks that were parked in front of one of Sadaam’s palaces that was bombed out at the top of the building. I got back and found a comfortable seat under a shade tree. As I’ve shared before it always amazes me how people will come up and talk to me. I was sitting there shaded by a palm tree when just then one of our interpreters came up and sat down next me. Let’s just call him Allan. Allan sat down next to me and began to talk to me. “My wife is trying to move back to Baghdad.” Allan is from the country of Sudan and his wife is from Baghdad. Our interpreters get a mini vacation every 21 days when they work with us. Allan at one time had his family living in Baghdad. Allan being an interpreter for the U.S. forces automatically puts his safety and in the case of these stories his family in severe danger. Interpreters I have learned will hide their identity and also that they are working for the U.S. Forces. In the past they have been killed or kidnapped for money. Their families have been threatened as well. Well in Allan’s case he began to tell me how his wife abandoned the decision that they made for her and his two children to stay in Sudan until he finished his work with the Americans. “Why does she want to leave?” I asked. In his best English he said “she is home sick and she wants to return to Baghdad.” “Allan I am so sorry to hear about this!” I said trying to offer a mood for solace for him. “She wants to return to Baghdad to her family with the children but I have stopped her by calling the embassy to change the children’s passports.” I could see his expression change on his face as he continued on with his story. “She does not want to stay in Sudan. She wants to come back to Baghdad. This is a very dangerous place for our children!” “Well Allan I am sorry that you and your wife are going through some times together. I know this is a hard time for you right now and I will pray for you and your wife. This war has claimed the life of so many marriages!” He shook his head to agree with me but I could tell that this issue had cut him deeply. He told me that he had been married for seven years to this woman. It didn’t help matters when one of my teammates came over where we were sitting and over heard our conversation and offered the comment of “seven years is when the problems start in a marriage.” This was easy advice coming from a person who was divorced also himself. We had to load up on the trucks but I promised Allan my support and urged him to take care of his kids at all costs. When I hear about these issues it makes me really appreciate my wife Wendy. Anything is possible in a relationship but with her I trust her so much. I thank God that he has given me such a committed wife especially through these times that I am going through.

Aug 21 – Today we are going to setup at a school where we can hand out medical supplies to the local residents in our sector. We have designed our plan to filter in people for quick medical exams with American medical staff and also to hand out toys, soccer balls and food. My position in the operations will be manning a machine from my truck. I’ve got plenty of water to get me through the first couple of hours. This is a joint operation of American and Iraqi personal. The staging areas are set up and we have an interpreter announce on a loud speaker “Attention, attention, we are now offering medical evaluations, please come and visit our clinic.” With that being said I can see the people, mostly women, file out from their houses with their young children in tow. My area of surveillance is the street that faces out to the main road. My back will face the area where the people will stand in line to go into the school. After the interpreter has made the announcement about ten times I swing my turret around and I see this massive line of people that stretch back about a block and a half. It takes about 30 minutes until I see people making their way out the back of the school where there is stacked boxes that contain food. The boxes have things inside like rice, can goods and beans. Outside on the street children will come around our trucks asking for soccer balls and candy. After awhile I’m starting to see a pattern with the children. They will get my attention by saying “Mista, mista!” I stand up in the turret to see what they want. “Football, football” they shout at me waiting for me to deliver the goods. Well I didn’t have any soccer balls in my truck. I plenty of candy to throw to them but they don’t want my candy. They want nothing but soccer balls! I learned to use the hand signal for ‘nothing’ but these kids are very persistent. They kids pointed to the trunk of my truck indicating that they didn’t believe me and that they thought I had some soccer balls inside the truck. Well I can tell you that this game of tug of war got old real quit. I could feel that I was sweating beyond my limits and the heat was slowly draining my energy. My captain was posted at the area where food boxes were stacked in a pile. As the residents would exit out the back door he would motion them towards him where he would let them grab a food box before they would finally leave out the back gate of the court yard. Well things were going good for awhile until human nature kicked in. I noticed that some of the women who would have about four or five kids would take more than one box of food. Since I’ve been here in Iraq I see women carrying big boxes or heavy bundles on their heads! I don’t understand the custom because sometimes I can see a woman carry a big bundle on her head while walking right next to her husband who isn’t carrying anything at all! There was one lady with a little girl about the age of six who was trying to carry one of those heavy food boxes. Well after several attempts she adjusted her load and managed somehow to carry the box and maneuver he daughter out the back gate. I would periodically turn around in my turret to see the endless line of people. It just exasperates me to no end on how can we make these people less dependent on us? I know we will have the poor with us always but the best thing you can do for a man is to teach him how to fish instead of giving him a fish every time he is hungry. If you teach him to fish he will eat for a lifetime!
 
Aug 23 – We are being visited by our incoming team chief this week. He is the team chief of the guys who will replace us in December.  He is a Major and I like him already. He seems to be easy going and he has a way of letting you know that he is listening to every word that you are saying to him. We put together a weekly schedule for him in which different members of our team would spend time with him briefing him on what we do. I am excited to see him because this only signifies that our time here in Iraq is drawing to a close. To be honest I feel that I have done all that I’ve come to do. On the other hand I can’t help but think that the problems the Iraqi people face is definitely a lot bigger than the both of us! I think sometimes that the U.S. needs to get out of the way so that these people can develop into what they want to be. For instance I have two teenage children. As much as it kills me to let them go I must cut the strings of dependency in hopes that they develop into productive members of society. Nobody likes to see their children struggle but letting them ‘figure it out’ is so detrimental to their growth as adults.

Aug 25 – Well my Captain is on the plane headed home to his family. He and I both will take leave late in the year. He was so excited to be going home to his family that he drove us crazy out on patrol this week! He is married with two small young boys. I am so happy for him because it means that I leave two weeks later after him!  The antics of our team chief keep getting worse. I finally figured him out. He loves to drive up and down the neighborhoods in our sector. He will get out of the truck and talk to residents that will surround him with complaints and requests of all their needs. I watched him one day from my truck as we stopped on the street. He got out and he began to talk to an Iraqi man who was sitting on a chair just outside his house. It wasn’t long when two more adults from across the street joined in the conversation. It was about five minutes when three more men came up and work themselves into the conversation. Even though I couldn’t hear what was being said I could tell by looking at chief’s mannerisms that he was in his moment. He really enjoyed the attention he got. He liked being looked upon as the answer to all of these people’s problems! It reminded me when I started teaching fitness. I started teaching beginner classes first and soon moved on to the more advanced classes. I became well known in Charlotte as one of the best instructors. Attention and fame are like a poison. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the love and respect of my students but I have to realize I am not their god. I love being all things to everyone I meet but I can’t. I am just a human being with faults and weaknesses like everyone else! So I have taken the position with all I meet to be as real as I can be. I want people to see my shortcomings and decide for themselves if the want to be my friend. Our chief is out here promising these people things that he cannot deliver and in an Arabic culture this is not good.

Aug 26 – I am laughing so hard right now I can’t steady my hand on the keyboard to write this. We were out last night in the neighborhood in our sector. It was about eleven p.m. when our convoy stopped on a narrow street. There were houses on each side on this dark street. Our tactics tell us that should an attack happen we shouldn’t stop like this because now the street becomes an obstacle where we would bottleneck and be trapped like sitting ducks! Well we were ordered to stop. Our chief got out of the truck and began talking with a man that was standing just outside his house. Whenever our chief gets out our interpreter has to get out of the truck as well. So our chief went over to talk with the man. The man was complaining that he didn’t have any electrical power because of a broken power line.  The man pointed to a wire that was dangling above on a telephone pole.  Sparks were coming out from that wire. So it was then that our chief decided to borrow the man’s ladder that he had in his house to go and fix the wire! So the man put his weak looking ladder up against the telephone pole for chief to go up. The ladder began to crick and creak as he started up the ladder. Our chief is a few pounds over weight I might add. It was then decided to take off his body armor and climb the ladder! Well he did this and as he ascended up the ladder something happened. The wire that was flapping out of control accidentally touched the palm tree that was in the man’s yard. The tree caught on fire! It was then that we hear a call on the radio for someone to bring a fire extinguisher up to our first truck. My teammate who was driving our truck is a licensed firefighter in his civilian profession says “he shouldn’t be fighting an electrical fire with a regular fire extinguisher. It was pitch black on this street, our trucks were lined up in a vulnerable position, our chief is suspended on a ladder without his helmet and body armor on and to make matters worse there is a fire on the man’s palm tree in his yard!  This had the makings of a movie comedy if ever I saw one. Even though this was a dumb and dangerous situation all the way around, I couldn’t stop laughing the whole night!

Aug 27 – I found today that I have been promoted! I am being promoted from Sergeant First Class to Master/First Sergeant. The news is music to my ears! When I retire I wanted my rank to be that of a Master/First Sergeant. The difference between a Master Sergeant and First Sergeant is simple. A Master Sergeant is in charge of and manages a section within the battalion. A First Sergeant (which I really want) is in a command position working as an advisor to the company commander. Prior to receiving this promotion I did graduate from the First Sergeant course at Fort Jackson about year ago. I know much more will be required of me now. I welcome it with open arms! There is another sad side to this. I will have to retire my drill sergeant hat! Of my 24 year military career this to me is my greatest accomplishment. I entered drill sergeant school at age 39. I graduated at age 40. I have been a drill sergeant for 7 years and I have loved every moment of it! As a Master/First Sergeant I can’t wear the ‘hat’ anymore. With tears in my eyes I step back into the shadows and let the younger guys take over. I still will get excited when I see a platoon of soldiers running or marching down the street. Its gives my heart such joy knowing that I was the first impression these young soldiers saw when they decided to join the U.S. Army. I will miss it very much!

Aug 28 – I have eleven days until I make the trip home on leave! I have been walking around excited about the thought of seeing my family and friends again. I was walking one day a strange thought hit me. I suddenly grew anxious and nervous about coming back into my American lifestyle that I once knew so well. I was afraid that if I changed so much that my family and friends would find me strange. I knew for a fact that the experience over here has changed my perspective on so many things. For example taking people and things for granted. From now on I will have greater appreciation for my family and friends. I will also stop and smell the roses. They do say that the soldiers returning home from Iraq go through these same thoughts. Maybe it’s nothing to worry about now. I know without a doubt that I have the greatest group of friends and family that love me and support me unconditionally. They love me just the way I am. It was then I could begin to feel the warm feelings rejuvenate my spirit again. Without a warning I let out a shout in front of my teammates “I can’t wait to go home!” Most of them have been on leave already so this sudden outburst of excitement was not so strange to them. They smiled at me and went back doing what they were doing when I interrupted them.

Aug 31 – Tonight we are at the station and the colonel of the Iraqi police has asked us to attend a dinner in which they will serve us food. As I’ve written before this is always a nervous moment for the guys because so many of them got sick the last time we ate with them. We were in the team room playing cards when one of our captains broke the news to us. “If they are going to do the cooking I am not going to eat it,” said one sergeant who remembered how sick he was by the food. “The food is going to be catered so it should be safe to eat,” said the captain trying to make the best of a bad situation. We finished our card game and made our way over to the little area that they had set up for us. The put up long tables with mix and matched folding chairs in one of their conference rooms to use as a dining area. My team which consists of 10 people, along with the colonel and his staff of 15 people filled the tiny little room. The attendants came in with food that was wrapped in individual plastic bags. When I got mine, I opened the bag and inside was several pieces of bread with grilled and ground lamb meat. Also in the bag were these pickled vegetables. I have to admit the food was delicious. With the assistance of an interpreter the Iraqi colonel gave a short speech of how he enjoyed working with us and how he wished us continued success in our mission. It sounded like a farewell speech to me. It sounded appropriate to me because our team was slowly approaching our 90 day window on the end of this mission. We finished our meals and soon the attendants came in and cleared the table. The colonel invited all of the officers and all who wanted to go upstairs for some of that famous chai tea.
                                                                                                   
Sept 2 – The army gave our Iraqi National police an old two and half ton truck that really isn’t used in our fleets any more. Well my job as the logistics sergeant is to work with the Iraqi maintenance officer about keeping all of his vehicles and equipment operational and ready. Well with this gift being added to his fleet, getting this old dinosaur of a truck fixed is going to be a challenge. Well the truck has been sitting there in the parking lot next to our hummers for about a month now. The Iraqi mechanics have attempted several times to fix this truck but to no avail the parts are not available in this country. I even found some batteries for the truck hoping the problem was due to dead batteries but still no success. Well a cool thing happened today. At the station located here is an infantry company. One the mechanics from the infantry was working with the Iraqi mechanics to help trouble shoot the problem on this truck. From what I understand they have been at for about five hours until finally they had a breakthrough. “Hey Sergeant Lewis,” said the soldier as he passed me on my way out of our team room. It was a soldier that we knew that lived in the same house as our team room. Judging from his dirty overalls and weather beaten face he was a mechanic. “What’s going on,” I asked trying to make conversation. “We got that truck started!” “You got it started,” I asked being totally surprised at his news about it. “How did you fix it,” I asked dying to know the source of his success. “Well I called my dad on the cell phone and he told me exactly what the problem was!” “Wow,” I said totally surprised by his news. “My dad is a Vietnam War veteran who used to work on these babies, so I just described to him over the phone what the problem was and he helped me trace it down to exactly what was the problem!” I just thought that was so cool! Here is a kid who is a mechanic in Baghdad and he has the assignment to fix this old model of a truck. He gets stuck and he has the smarts to reference his father who used to fix these models in a different war!  Man that is what I call networking!

Sept 4 -   Only four more days until I am out of this country! There is one soldier which shall remain anominous during the telling of my story. I will call him the complainer. The complainer was the soldier I wrote about weeks ago that was submitted into a combat stress program.  The complainer has taught me a valuable lesson since I have been on this deployment. This soldier does nothing all day but complain about why he is so miserable about being over here. It so happens to be that this week is the first week that he has decided to rejoin our team back out in the field. Of course he is placed back into my truck to resume his position. The complainer didn’t miss a beat. Once we put our headsets on he started in on why he is so unhappy about being here in Iraq. When you listen to him at first you would think his claims are substantiated by what he has gone through. When I look back on this whole experience I remembered this guy’s personality really needed an overhaul. Ever since we started this mission this guy has complained. I have heard him whine and complain from Kansas to Kuwait and now Iraq! To make sure that I was being fair to the guy I did a little test. I counted the number of times he used the words ‘I’ or ‘me’ in a sentence. For about 3 minutes he used ‘I’ ten times and the word ‘me’ at least fifteen times! The heat was climbing to 120 degrees today and I wasn’t in the greatest mood to listen to this crap all day. It just amazes me how one person can become so self absorbed about himself. He blames the chief for the reasons of why he is so stressed. I can handle the complaining but when a person begins to boast and brag about it too then I draw the line! He also expresses concerns that he is so worried about our welfare too. He went on and on about what he was going to do should something happen to us out here on our patrols.  What irritates me about all of this is that none of this is really his problem. All of his complaints might be valid to someone else but this is nothing more than a platform from which he uses to vent his anger and frustrations that fester inside him. He is a chronic complainer!!! At times I feel sorry for him because the guys on the team subconsciously steer clear of him to avoid having a conversation with him which will of course turn into a complaining session about him! For me I just come straight back at him with what the Bible says on these issues. He complains about the chief (and so do we) but what I do is try to stay cleared of any conversations that might trigger his complaining.  On the first of September we have been together as a team for a year.  All of us on the team are going through some kind of issues being over here too. The best way to get through this is for us to bond together as team mates to make it through! The complainer has taught me that when you constantly complain about everything and everyone no one enjoys being around you. I also realized that the things you complain about really end up being no big deal after all. The frustrations of trying to control things which are out of your control in the first place are where the true feelings lay. So while ridding in my truck I did what I felt I had to do. I turned off my headset so that I could give my ears a break so that I could think good thoughts about coming home this week!

Sept 5 - We are out in sector again today. Of course as usual our chief leads us out to the marketplace where we stay parked for two hours as he walks up and down the street conducting his own personal investigation with the people. This is very upsetting to the team because this is so off the radar to what we are supposed be doing. When we began our training back in Kansas we were strictly told that we would be advisors to the Iraqi National Police. We would coach and mentor their staff on operations, logistics and any other tasks that would help them be successful in maintaining and securing their sector of Baghdad. Well I won’t bore you with the endless details of the countless missions that we have gone on that end up being similar to what we are doing today. It has gotten so bad now that we don’t even take the National Police with us on these missions. Well tonight was a scary situation. It was about 7:30 p.m. and we were slowly losing daylight. We were parked in front of the marketplace in our sector. Our chief will dismount with an interpreter and usually one of our other guys to walk into market to talk to the people. Those of us who are waiting in the trucks are pulling security and monitoring the radio for any communication from our higher command. By this time night fall had come and we were slowly approaching the two hour mark being out there. Now there are several things to consider here. For starters it is not safe for a convoy especially one as small as ours, to be parked that long in one place. The enemy can do some serious damage to us and we would be strictly at their mercy. Secondly, we were on a narrow street and there are no exit routes should we have to quickly get out of the area. What blew me away next was that while chief was talking to the people in the marketplace a man came up to one of our guys and introduce himself as a member of Al Qadea! The man had told my teammate that we were being watched from a rooftop nearby! Well for me that would be enough information true or not to move the team back to the camp. Well to my surprise our chief was told of the incident but his response was that he would go inside one of the stores so that he could continue his inquiries with some of the residents. He totally ignored the information! For me riding in the turret it meant that I had to be on my guard against possible sniper fire. This brought back to my remembrance a conversation I had with our chief one morning. He was sitting outside our team room at the station having his usual morning cigarette and cup of coffee. “You know I put in an extension to stay over here another year” he said to me as he took a puff of his cigarette. “Really, wow”, I said trying to muster some kind of positive response. “Yeah, I figure this is probably the last time that I will ever get an opportunity such as this to be in combat. I’m 41 years old and I’m really at the tail end of my career so who knows if I ever get the chance to do this again” he said with an attitude that only meant that he was only thinking about himself. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he really needed to go home. He was over weight and he when he walked he walked as if he had a broken leg. The truth was that the Army allowed him to come back in with a bad leg.  He looked like a bag of chewed bubble gum in his uniform. It was clear to me that this person is a glory seeker and he was going to accomplish it at our expense! Well there are procedures in place in the Army that are available to us to report any inappropriate conduct of a soldier, especially a superior officer. I guess what bothers me the most is that the morale of the team is slowly fading away. Our chief doesn’t even give us any briefing any more. Now our communication has become “get in the trucks, we are going out on a mission in 15 minutes.” It is really sad because our secondary leaders don’t even have a clue to what our task, purpose and plan is when we leave out the gate! I am optimistic that this soon will come to an end. The Army will not allow a one person’s goals to jeopardize the safety and lives of many soldiers.

Sept 7 – The time is growing closer for me to go home on leave. I talked with my wife last night and the whole family and I are really excited about our reunion. I’ve talked to some of the guys who have gone on leave before and they all say that you really have to step back from the issues of home and just enjoy yourself. They say you shouldn’t get into how things are being run and the little irritations at home. This was true of ‘the complainer’. He is the only guy that came back from leave and said that he didn’t have a good time. I was amused yesterday when he pulled me to side and said “Hey Lew, just make sure that you don’t get into it with your wife when you get home!” I reassured him that I wouldn’t but I knew his problems ran much deeper than mine. The only thing is I dread is the travel. I have to fly from Baghdad to Kuwait. In Kuwait I could wait as long as a day or two before I finally fly right into Atlanta and then finally to Charlotte. Well I guess I will use this down time to read, write and do a few puzzles. I am so pumped to be coming home. I am the second to last person to be leaving. I thought September would never get here! I am sorry Charlotte; I probably won’t get the chance to teach a class or two because my family will have me on a short leash. When I return to Iraq I will have only 3 months! There is talk that we might make it home for Christmas. So keep me in your prayers! For all who train with me don’t worry. I will need to get back into shape myself so we will accomplish together. So when I am in Charlotte for good come on out and let’s get reacquainted again so that we can get back into shape. This desert living has really done a job on my fitness regiment!

Sept 9 – Well it’s here! I have about 1 hour before I head to Baghdad airport for my long trip home. I did some shopping for the wife and kids and I am sporting a new haircut. My bags are all packed. There is a slight feeling of separation anxiety leaving my teammates. They say this is normal because for the last 9 months my attentions and thoughts have been with these guys. I don’t want any thing to happen to them while I’m away. It was so bad yesterday that while I was tying up some loose ends in my office they came in and kicked my out because they said I should be packing and not worrying about my work. They’re right; those of you that know me I am not one for sitting around. I have to be doing something. So with that I headed back to my room to finish my packing. The next time I post I will be sitting in my house in Charlotte. So I will see you there. I have a few minutes before my ride gets here. Pray for me, I hate riding in these big army planes! Oh how I wish I had my own Lear jet!

Sept 12 – I’m back! The pilot announces “we are now over American airspace and we will be landing in Atlanta in 30 minutes!” The soldiers that I am traveling with let out a cheer. Some applauded; some like me, just smile to confirm our excitement about being back in the United States. Most of us on the plane are the last ones who are taking their leave so late in the year. I remembered when I first got here in September my leave date seemed like miles away! We landed at about 11:45 a.m. EST. I exited out of the portal to find there waiting for us where military and civilian staff who directed our every step through the airport. You could tell that they have done this a thousands times because they knew for sure that all of us would want to update our tickets so that we could get an earlier flight home. We didn’t miss a beat. We picked up our baggage and quickly they had a counter setup to update our tickets so that we can clear customs. It was in no time that I was sitting at my gate with a Starbucks venti bold coffee with a shot of hazelnut. As I sat there waiting to board my plane I had a chance to just sit and observe the countless people who were walking throughout the airport. I’ve been gone so long that it dawned on me that this busy hustle and bustle American lifestyle was something I did myself. I couldn’t help but compare it to the nine months that I have been living in Iraq. Life in Iraq is truly simple and slow but at the same time it is hard and dangerous. You wake up and you survive the best way that you can. It is always your intentions to try to make the best possible life for you and your family and depending on how the political scales are tipped you do what you have to do to survive. Just sitting here I have come to one quick solution. I don’t feel guilty for being an American any more. I used to feel that we were a country of over indulged people. I felt that we were spoiled and victims of our own successes. Well let me tell you, I don’t feel that way anymore. Instead I so am proud to be an American. Why? You can say what you want about this country, our President and our people but one thing is for sure. When we needed change we as a people have come together. Despite our differences in our race, beliefs or convictions we put our personal preferences to the side and we decided to work together to iron out our problems. The truth is there is no perfect system on this planet in which we all can hang our hopes on so that everyone can be totally satisfied. I will give our country credit. At least we have attempted to solve some of the issues of our past such as slavery, racism, economic depression, social indifferences, aids, crime, homelessness, gang violence, elderly health care, unemployment and many others as well; some have been successful, others have not but still we will come together as a nation to solve these issues. I have grown indignant in my beliefs that the other countries that oppose us so much are of course jealous and want what we have. Their problem is that they are not willing to do what it takes to get what we have enjoyed since the creation of this nation! Of course this is freedom; I get mad just like anyone else when I hear someone say something politically that is contrary to what I believe. But the beauty in our system is that any person has the freedom and right to believe whatever they want to believe without fear of reprisal. As I get older I understand that conflict is good because it helps me understand both sides of an issue. I don’t have to be afraid of conflict. I’ve learned from talking to the people over here that they too have opinions and thoughts just like we do. The problem is that the controlling powers over them quench their spirits daily and won’t allow them the freedom to make their own choices for their lives. They use fear and religion to control them. It is so obvious to me to what system is better. No, I don’t feel guilty anymore for being an American. I feel such a comfort in that definitive statement. I feel good as I take another sip of my Starbucks coffee with a shot of hazelnut.

Sept. 13 – Today is my 25th wedding anniversary! My wife Wendy and I will be celebrating that milestone this week. I thank God for keeping this marriage going and holding us accountable to it. This is such a milestone considering how marriages are doing these days. This is my second day back and the jet lag is really kicking in.  I am so excited to be home but the traveling to get here in my opinion was hell. We boarded an Air Force plane in Baghdad in which they piled about a hundred of us in these strapped seats that after thirty minutes would pinch your butt cheeks. Now I know how luggage feels!  When we got on board the air conditioning wasn’t on at the time so the heat was unbearable as we waited for take off to Kuwait. I felt like the blue plate special under a heat lamp at the local diner. We finally landed in Kuwait and I had to stay overnight there where I would take a commercial flight to Atlanta. Well the flight to Atlanta wasn’t much better. We boarded on to a plane that had seats that were made for circus midgets. I ended up sitting in the center row of four seats in between three other guys that were just as big as I was! The next thirteen hours were spent tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. Trying to sleep at the position of attention was a feat within itself. The excitement of getting home would be my motivation to endure this flying torture rack. Soon my wife and I would be headed to Hilton Head, South Carolina for three days of rest and relaxation!

Sept. 14 – My wife and I enjoyed what might be the first time in our lives together as husband and wife time alone with each other. We traveled down the interstate enjoying an uninterrupted conversation without the presence of our kids. My wife brought me up to date with the latest information on our children, friends and family members. It was about one in the afternoon and already the jet lag was raising its ugly head. We stopped for lunch at a McDonald’s and I enjoyed for the first time in 9 months a hamburger with fries! We finally made it to our hotel and checked into a beautiful road side hotel on the stretch of highway that leads to the beach. My wife had planned this trip for months. I’m so glad to be here with her. There is so much that I appreciate about her that I don’t even know where to begin. We have known each other since we were eighteen years old and to have grown older and wiser together over the years is something I am really proud of. We have gone through a lot together making our mistakes along the way but never being too proud to say ‘I’m sorry’. The war has kept us apart for a year now. My wife has done an excellent job in the handling of our finances, children and personal resources. I might also add that she is also one of the most dedicated people that I know who is committed to the Lord Jesus Christ. I know without a doubt her prayers have kept me out of harm’s way. I will do my best to not to upset her by getting into her business critiquing her about how she’s been doing things. I will try my best to sit back and enjoy this moment. Whoops! I hear her calling me. I have to get off of this computer now and have some long awaited fun!

Sept. 15 - I’m in my hotel and I am channel surfing the different television programs. I go from one program to next with disgust. I can still see that bad reality television shows are still getting air time. I couldn’t find much to watch as I flipped from one station to the other. There were a couple of bad teen shows and to make matters worse Reverend Al Sharpton, who politically I can’t stand was on some news show complaining about some issue. My life in Iraq was simple. As I said before I just found the American lifestyle to be so busy like. The thoughts of returning back to Iraq in twelve days made me feel me a little discouraged. I know I have to stop thinking like that! Relax and enjoy what I have now; right? My time in Iraq has made me really appreciate so much that I took for granted before I left. I don’t want to loose any of that awareness. The time here at the beach with my wife has been awesome! I still can catch my thoughts drifting back to my team. I pray that they are safe and that they continue to be safe for our remaining three and half months that we have left. I realize one other thing and that is that I have been in the heat so much that the weather here in Carolina is nothing compared to what I have grown used to. The humidity is a bit much but to me I feel at ease with the weather. Today something happened that really surprised me. I was sitting here watching television when suddenly someone down the hall of the hotel slammed the door to their room. It made such a loud booming sound that it startled me! My wife saw me shake a little but she didn’t question why. My response surprised me as well. When we stay the night down at the station it is very commonplace to hear gunfire and explosions. I have heard these sounds so many times while trying to eat, sleep or just play cards with the guys. The crazy thing is that we just keep doing what we’re doing hoping that the next explosion doesn’t hit us. Well I pray the peace of God on my mind today. I am having such a good time with my wife. Last night she made steamed clams, king crab with all the fixings in our room! I’ve died and gone to heaven!

Sept 23 – I have enjoyed these past 12 days seeing my family and friends. My children look great and are doing well. My wife has been an awesome business manager and has everything in control. There wasn’t much for me to do at all since I’ve been here. My son and I hung out together for a few days and he has driven me around town in his car. I was constantly being beaten up by the sound of his extremely loud car stereo system. The vibrations would shake me as I listened to his music from the new Kanye West CD he just bought. There was also a day that I spent hanging out with my daughter.  The day with her was a little less noisy where we started the day with breakfast, then shopping and then we had lunch together. I also had the opportunity to see a few dear friends of mine. I even had the chance to take in a few aerobics classes where the  Zumba class really put a workout on my joints. So it is about 5:30 a.m. and as usual my eyes pop open where I find myself tossing and turning trying to go back to sleep. It’s still dark and everyone is still asleep in the house. A wave of sadness comes over me as I flip over on to my back and stare at the ceiling. I try not to plan ahead but I can’t help but think that this is my last weekend here before I head back to Baghdad. For the most part I am optimistic because I will have just 3 months to go before I am back home for good. Since I’ve been home I’ve felt like a guy standing on the highway watching all of the traffic go by knowing soon that my time will come when I will have to jump right in with the flow of things. The support from everyone has been great. To Charlotte and all my friends and family I want to thank all of you for encouraging me to get through these past 9 months. I couldn’t have done it without you! You guys are the best!! I just have 3 more days to go before I leave and I have to go back and pick up my game face again. I have enjoyed walking through the city of Charlotte. Just in one year’s time Charlotte has made some changes and in some subtle ways looks different to me. If things work out as planned I might be walking in the door around Christmas time! People of Charlotte, thank you for making this old dog feel special. I love you all! Don’t call me a hero. A hero is the name of a sandwich where I come from!

Sept 27 – I wake up again as usual at 5:00 a.m. The sky is still dark and there is a full moon shining ever brightly. This is the day that I have to return to Iraq. My wife and kids are still sleeping. I will have to wake them up in a few hours if I want to have breakfast with them before going to the airport. If I were to summarize these 15 days there would be only one word for it; Awesome! I was able to spend quality time with my family and a few friends. I was able to attend church and even see a few co worker friends of mine. The bonus was that my son’s personal issues took a turn for the best. I went to the DMV with my daughter to get her driver’s learner permit. She has been carting me all around Charlotte. If I stayed another week it would have been hard for me to leave. So I woke the family up and we had a nice breakfast at this family owned diner that my wife and I love going to. An hour later we arrived at the Charlotte International Airport for me to check in and get my boarding pass. The airports are so good about letting the families to go through security so that they can see their family members off. This time my wife and kids were very calm emotionally. We arrived at my gate and it was evident that the other passengers had already boarded the plane. I embraced my son and then my daughter with a hug and a kiss. I then turned to my wife. Her composure was calm as she kissed me and said “three months will go by fast, hurry home.” I smiled but everyone could tell that I had a very painstaking look on my face. I quickly gave the airline attendant my ticket and I turned and headed down the tunnel to board the plane. Tears began to well up in my eyes! I was taken off guard by my emotions. A smiling flight attendant greeted me at the door as she directed me to a better seat in the front of the plane. It didn’t stop the rush of emotion that I was feeling about leaving my family. I tried to hide my face by putting on my sunglasses. I really had a great time with my family and leaving them this time was hard. The other side of me was anxious to get back to the mission in Iraq. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t thinking about my teammates while I was at home. I knew when I got back to camp some drama would be waiting on me.

Sept 28 – The ride back to Kuwait wasn’t too bad. It was just my fortune the flying torture trap was waiting to take us back across the ocean. This time I fared better because I was able to grab a seat next to a colonel who didn’t have anyone sitting with him. At this point my comfort was more important me than my protocol. After the plane took off and we were at a comfortable cruise attitude the conversations that I had with the colonel were actually enjoyable. He too was also a reservist serving in Iraq. His home was somewhere in the state of Washington and it doesn’t surprise me anymore because of the many people that I meet along my travels but he is from the same division of the reserves that I come from. We spent the first hour comparing our missions that we were doing in Iraq. His work was mostly with the Iraqi Army. His location was some little province near Baghdad that I can’t pronounce or spell. Our conversation then rolled into how the reserves became involved in such a mission. I could tell at times during our conversation that due to his position he knew the inside story but because of confidentiality restraints he couldn’t give me all the details. I was really glad that I sat near him because unbeknownst to him he helped me overcome the sadness I was feeling about leaving my family. I appreciated his company and I was in a much better mood. It was then that the flight attendants were beginning to start serving the in flight meal. You guess it! With a smile on my face and anticipation in my heart I then without hesitation lowered my snack tray.

Sept 29 – We landed back in Kuwait around 11:00 p.m. their time. When you travel with the military it’s just like being in kindergarten again. We all lined up in single file order and walked off the plane. We had a short stop in Ireland to refuel. I was able this time to grab a few winks on the plane. The seats still didn’t show any mercy. They were perfect seats if there were an eating disorder convention in town. We landed in Kuwait and got off the plane in single file order to await the next plane that would take us to our next location. They organizers had hangers set up with signs that displayed the different locations that would take soldiers to their final destination. Depending on where you had to go you had to go stand under that hanger for that location. There were signs for Tikrit, Mosul, Afghanistan, Basrha, and of course my last stop, Baghdad. The people that work here are very good at getting all these soldiers to where they need to go. I went over to the Baghdad hanger and stood with my group of soldiers that were going to Baghdad. Because we arrived so late, we were given tent assignments where we could go rest for the night and awaiting the next available flight.

Oct 1 – I arrived last night in Baghdad at about 4:30 a.m. yesterday. I slept most of the day away to be only awakened by the knock of my captain that I work with. He spent the last 30 minutes bringing me up to speed with the present status of the team. The morale on the team is at an all time low so bad that they had to transfers one of our interpreters to another team because a fight had broke out between him and another interpreter. I also found out that our chief had brought up formal charges against several of my team members. What drama! It was bound to happen anyway. This team chief has done so many things to put not only him self at risk but also this team. I know the guys felt a professional responsibility to make our higher command aware of these incidents. This chief in my estimation of things strikes me as being a master manipulator. He has taken the responsibility on himself to change the scope and direction of this team. It has been made clear from the out start that our main focus would be that as advisors to the Iraqi National Police. This team chief has gone way beyond our scope to change what really are his hidden ambitions. There is an investigation that he will have to go through as well. If called upon to give my account of what’s going on I will without a doubt tell the truth. I am disappointed that this team chief has attempted to tarnish the reputation of 4 people on this team who have impeccable careers in the army. I just don’t understand people’s motives sometimes for why they do the things that they do. We have 3 more months to go and I just think we need to finish this thing on a good note. It is true what the Bible says that ‘a little yeast leavens the whole loaf!’

Oct 2 – The jet lag is really wearing on me today but I am determined to continue my workouts. I start with a 15 minute run on the treadmill followed by a workout with the weights and then back on the stationary bike for another 10 minutes of cardio followed by a good abdominal workout. I have been steady for about almost 3 weeks now. I can feel myself regaining strength again. Back home I am used to my weekly regiment of teaching 8 to 10 aerobic classes a week. Since being here in Baghdad I am fortunate if I get just an hour of exercise a week! This is the month of Ramadan here in Iraq. This is one of the Muslim observances where they will fast from sun up to sun down. Our leadership has told us to proceed with extra caution as we travel throughout our sector. Sunset around here is usually about 7 p.m. I noticed that our interpreters will begin to prepare their food. They will break the fast with a prayer and then they will eat. It is also an Arabic custom to not interrupt them with conversation while they are eating. The atmosphere in our sector is quiet for now but you can never be sure what will happen next.

Oct 3 – I suited back up to join my team or what’s left of it on a convoy to the station. We have about 6 replacement soldiers with us to cover the positions once held by my teammates. As we headed out the gate I noticed my stress level increasing. There were no reported threats in our area so I was surprised by my reaction leaving out of the gate. I have done this mission since January and I guess this is something you just don’t get use to doing. There is something new going on here. Some of the residents have volunteered to form a group that will assist the National Police in the security of the area. They are called the ‘Guardians’. They will be paid for their services but their jurisdiction is limited to their area in which they lived. To me it’s just what we call in the states a paid neighborhood watch program. Again I am annoyed by this idea because if these guys are going to be paid for their services then they should be made to join the National Police force in their community. It just looks like another money pit in which we will dump our American dollars into.

Oct 6 – I have to get myself in the bed. I will be leaving for this training facility with the Iraqi National Police tomorrow for 30 days! Part of me doesn’t want to go but the other part sees an advantage here. This will place my team and me out of the sector for a month. At this facility I am told that we will have to teach a few classes but for the most part it will be a safe and easy place. Just about all of the training will be conducted by the Australians. Also this will help ease the tension that has been going on within the confines of my team. I won’t bore you with the details. Its typical man drama mixed with betrayal and ego centric situations. I will have access to the internet while I am there but sharing 6 computers with 50 guys will definitely be a bit of stretch. Also another good consideration is that when we return from this training we will have about two weeks to prepare for our replacements that will be arriving. I am ready to come home now. Our team has dwindled down to just seven people. The chief of this team has really done a number on this team. The rest of us guys are trying to keep our spirits up but it’s hard not finishing this mission without the people you started with. I so glad that I took leave late. I have my wonderful family to look forward to. I have my students and friends to see again and re-establish those relationships. In my heart I am very happy right now. The joy of what awaits me back home is the motivation I will use to get me through these next two and half months.

Oct. 7 – We arrived at our training site with the Iraqi National Police today. I was worried because we would be traveling about 150 miles outside Baghdad in a 70 vehicle convoy! The threat level increases with such a display of soldiers and equipment traveling down the road. What also worried me was that we would be traveling over bridges that were over bodies of water. This trip would take about four hours. I made a joke to the guys saying “can we stop at the rest stop and get lunch?” I knew the answer to this question. There were no rest stops and if anyone had to go to the bathroom we would be going past some areas that had green pastures available. The trip was for most part interesting because I had a chance to see life outside Baghdad. There a little towns that exist where there is just a main road that runs through the town. The town is just like a tightly populated subdivision surrounded by palm trees. Some people will set up road side stands that sell everything from bread to fuel. It was just my fortune that the truck I was riding in had this person, who shall remain nameless, who spent the whole entire trip complaining about everyone and everything! To make matters worse I have never heard the ‘F’ word used so much as an adjective. When we finally arrived I had to quickly go find the place I would be sleeping so that I could get away from this person. The thought that I had only 29 more days to go with this person really put a damper on my mood.

Oct. 8 – We jumped into our first day of training the Iraqi police with high expectations. This facility was and is a great idea for training. The location here takes all of these policemen out of their sectors and brings them to a place where they can concentrate on training techniques. This place is weird looking because there is a series of building complexes that were built but never finished to completion. They told me that the Air Force had started the construction on these buildings but they never finished them. They are being used now for police training. It has to be at least 6 acres of unfinished buildings out there; including one Mosque. These battalions are made up of policemen that are currently working in their sectors as well as new recruits. When they finish their 30 day program with us they will be given the ‘new’ National Police uniform that is a blue digitalized camouflaged uniform along with new boots. Right now what they are currently wearing is sad. Most of them are wearing a green camouflaged uniform that is the only uniform that they own. Almost half of them don’t even wear boots. Some of them wear dress shoes, sneakers and I even saw a few that wore sandals! I’m starting to understand what the problem is with these people. It almost runs close to the problem that we have in the states. It’s called priorities! When the training day is done and I walk through the yard where the Iraqi barracks are located I can see that almost everyone owes a cell. As I travel throughout Iraq I can see that almost every house has a satellite dish!

Oct. 9 – Training was good today with the Iraqis today. My team and I set up a ‘round robin’ like training stations in which we would rotate training every 45 minutes. My station was responsible for teaching proper techniques on holding, carrying and patrolling with the AK-47 rifle. I had my interpreter at my side as I addressed the first group of recruits. “Salaam, Good morning my name is Sergeant First Class Lewis and I will be your primary instructor for this block of instruction.” This type of teaching is difficult because I have to talk slow, line by line to give my interpreter time enough to translate my every word. I had about 40 men standing in front of me staring at me with a look of interest, confusion, and excitement mixed all together. It was my job to teach them this simple task while trying to keep their attention focused on me. I was able to pull it off by using the Lewis sense of humor and funny facial expressions to keep my audience mentally engaged. I wanted to be careful not to give them such a great stage show but I wanted them to take me seriously on the matters of carrying this weapon. We finally got through all of the training for the day. I was so exhausted. We had to line the men up by groups to prepare them to board the trucks that would soon be arriving to pick them up. Don’t ask me how it happened but one of the Iraqis asked me if I knew hip hop. It was my understanding that now that they have freedom to watch anything that they want on television they have been exposed to American music; of course the one that interested them the most was hip hop music. When one Iraqi comes to talk to you, you can bet that three more are just right behind him. Before you know it they were clapping their hands and forming a circle around me. I didn’t have an interpreter at the time but it was obvious that they were beckoning me to dance for them. Well you know Sgt. Roy can’t back down from a challenge so I did like any good looking African American, sergeant with an impeccable sense of rhythm who do; I danced! So for about 15 minutes it was me and about 50 Iraqis policemen dancing. I was nervous that my leaders would frown upon this but they seem to take it as goodwill gesture between us and the Iraqis. For me it was some part of me connecting to a part of them.

Oct 12 – This training facility has afforded me the opportunity to spend quality time with these Iraqi men. Each morning I have to go the assembly area where I find all of the men who have committed to becoming National Policemen. This facility as I’ve stated is comfortably located about 150 miles just outside Baghdad. We have security here but for the most part there is no fear of mortars or insurgent attacks while we are here. My job is simple. I show up to make sure all the men are accounted for and board the correct truck going to our training location. I have about 6 six groups consisting of about 30 to 40 men each. Each group has an officer and now a sergeant who is in charge of the men. I have been here for at least seven days know and already I have reputation built up. We train from the hours of 6 to 12 noon. When we are done training some of the men will come up to me where they will bombard me with an endless stream of questions. Questions that range from where am I from, to how many children do I have? I wear two wedding bands and they saw that and assumed that I two wives. Another interesting fact is that because I am black they assume that I like hip hop music. They are partly correct; I like some hip hop music. About 25 Iraqi men will surround me and ask me to do a rap song. They mimic the sound of a beat box and motion for me to bust into a rhyme. I know that I am no Kanye West or 50 Cent who are rappers that currently have CDs that are on the music charts. So I break out with my rendition of the 70’s classic “Rappers Delight’. They don’t know that that particular song is old school and that I am showing my age by it. Nonetheless they are entertained by it and still they beg me for more! My interpreter is too busy working with someone else so I gestured for them to sing me an Iraqi song. Immediately it starts with one guy, then three more join in and soon there are about 30 Iraqi guys singing and dancing around me. I join in the dancing and before you know it, we have a full fledge festival going on! I don’t have a clue to what they are saying but I figured it can’t be too bad if everyone knows the words to the song!

Oct 13 – Each day that I work with these Iraqi men I learn more and more about them. The training here is mandatory for all of the police units. The unit that I work with is here too amongst these other units. What is strange is that my unit was sitting in a certain area of the containment yard. I have never seen so many of these guys all at once. I was told that the reason was because the guys are mostly located in the safe houses working in 24 hour shifts. An inside source told me that some of these guys have other jobs. They have worked a deal with the police battalion commander to have their names placed on the roles for pay. In return they will hand over half their pay to the battalion commander who in return gets very wealthy by this arrangement! It makes sense to me. I teach a class on the AK-47 rifle. As I am teaching I can tell without a doubt that half of these guys that are sitting watching me teach are in no way interested in what I am teaching them! I have been a drill sergeant for 8 years and I know what potential soldiers look like. The array of men here range from a kid who tells me he’s 21 years of age but he looks like he is 17 instead; from the guy who looks like he is in his fifties, overweight and grandfather of three. It does make sense. The unemployment is so bad here that any man would be forced to take up a position with the police, army or in my case, the National Police. The problem that I have with that is that we get people who are here only for a paycheck. Their commitment level is very low. As I teach each class I try to instill pride in them for the job that they have to do but I am only met with blank stares of complacency. I become overwhelmed at times when I think of what these men have to go through to try to find some kind of normalcy in this country. My time is here is winding down. I soon will return back to Charlotte, North Carolina where my family and friends are eagerly waiting for me. I will come home to the security of my American lifestyle where I will pay my taxes, vote in the upcoming election, go on vacations, and resume the weekly pressures of my job. The sights and sounds of Iraq will turn gray and slowly fade into background of my memories. I guess what I am saying is that my life will regain its purpose. That’s a good thing. I have come to know that these people don’t understand the price of freedom. I have also learned that as Americans, we don’t either. There is one side that is trying to understand the commitment of it while there is another side that takes it for granted.

Oct 17 – It’s another training day here at the facility. We have about 3 battalions training here. We have set up round robin training in which there are five training stations that are designed to teach a different subject matter. At my station I teach how to properly carry, move and patrol with the AK-47 rifle. Each class consists of about 30 to 40 guys. Already I am limited by the language barrier because I have to use an interpreter to translate each time I speak. If you haven’t used an interpreter before it takes some time to get use to the rhythm of using one. First of all the rhythm is much slower. I am so use to speaking and having my ideas and thoughts just roll into an internal rhythm in my head. Also I can’t use technical words such as ‘technique’ or ‘scanning’ or phrases that I might use in basic training such as ‘aiming center mass on a target’. The Arabic language doesn’t have words for these concepts. I found out from another trainer that was teaching how to clear doorways and windows. He said that the Iraqi language didn’t have a word for the phrase ‘sneak a peek!’ So they had to find a word that best fit this concept. There is one thing that I have learned working with each group and that is they all have a sense of humor. I was teaching them the concept of aiming their rifle only when they have a ‘bad guy’ in their site. I used pantomime to convey a person shooting all of their ammunition up and standing there screaming like a girl and throwing rocks! Somehow this example was all that I needed to get a laugh out of them and to break the ice between us. When we finished our training for the day the men will take a break in which they stand around smoking cigarettes and chatting with each other. I guess the word has gotten out that I am the sergeant that likes to dance with them. I was walking over to our truck where there is a cooler of cold drinks waiting for me. But before I could reach the truck I could hear my name being called in broken English “Lewes, Lewus,” A few of the Iraqi policemen motioned for me to come to them. My interpreter has taken a break so I am standing with 30 guys around me as they shouting a thousand things to me in Arabic. One man begins clapping and starts singing some Iraqi song. I humor him and begin to clap my hands and join him by mimicking the words that he is singing. Before you know it we all are enjoying ourselves again. My American peers are looking at me. Some are looking at me with hopeless abandonment shaking their heads and others are laughing at me that I would even bother to relate to these men. I don’t care. It’s just the spare of the moment experience that I might never get the chance to do again.

Oct 18 – Another training day. I am disturbed because one of our interpreters tells me that most of these men here are criminals. I know that Iraq has a very high unemployment rate. Most of the men here must join the police, national police or army to at least make a living. It explains it because the range in age between these men here is very diverse. There are some guys here who have told me that they are 22 years old but I wouldn’t give a few of them 18 on a good day. Then there are some men that really need to be home because they look like they are about 60 years old! Still I don’t blame them. If I were in there shoes and this was the old job in town, I would take it too. Where the criminal part comes in is that I am told that some of these guys have committed acts of robbery, abuse and murder to other Iraqis. Remember as I’ve stated this is a country of alliances. So whatever side you are on that is the side you will suffer the consequences from the opposing group. I was told one thing about one of the men here by another interpreter that this man has killed many women! I could feel my anger rising up in my spirit as he told me this. He said that this man without regard for these women just killed them because he didn’t like them! He tells me that I am amongst thieves, militia members and yes, killers. The main reason that most of the men are here is because of MONEY. In the American army we have a system to weed out people who come into the army with less than honorable intentions. I take a deep breath as I try to understand this rationale. The day is slowly approaching where the US won’t be here. I can’t wait.

Oct 19 – I was given the unique opportunity to share the Christian gospel with a Muslim today! My interpreter and I were sitting up against a building as soldiers would run past us. Our job was to pretend that we were local people sitting around in the neighborhood. These soldiers were to ask us if we have seen any insurgents in the area. Our response would be “we have seen some strange men walking around in the neighborhood.” With that small piece of intelligence the soldiers would move out to locate a fake IED that we planted for them to find. Well my interpreter and I did this role playing for about 3 hours. It was then I turned to my interpreter and asked him “who is it that asks you to do all of these religious things?” Let’s call him Jack. Jack proceeded to tell me about the beginnings of Islam and the prophet Muhammad. When he finished I started to tell him about Jesus Christ. In Islam I was surprised to find that in Islam they recognize Jesus Christ too. But only as a prophet; Jack was surprised when I told him that Jesus Christ is still alive today! I then went on to tell Jack how God sent his Son Jesus into the world to save the world through his blood sacrifice. What was also amazing was later that day when we got back to the barracks I was reading the Bible sitting on my bed. Jack came and sat right down beside me and asked what I was reading. “The Bible” I said as I made room for him on my bed. It was then that I showed him John 3:16 in the bible. He took my bible from me and began to read the text out loud, “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in him shall be saved. God sent his Son not to condemn the world but to save the world through him.” He eyes lit up with excitement as he looked at me. “This is very good!” I told him that I hated for anyone’s relationship with God to hang in the balance just because they were one prayer short from God’s grace and mercy! I told Jack this is why we call this the good news!

Oct 20 – Today I had a unique experience. I had a haircut done by an Iraqi barber. The haircut wasn’t anything out of the usual but what happened after was worth noting. After my haircut was done the man asked me if I wanted the back of my neck trimmed. His English wasn’t that good so judging by his hand gestures I assumed that was what he wanted to do. So I just sat back and let him do his thing. I was a little nervous because he would do this with a straight razor. All in all his movements were reassuring and confident. After he finished my neck he said something else that I couldn’t quite make out. I said “yes” figuring it was some cosmetic thing concerning my haircut. The man pulled some string that looked like dental floss from a drawer and he put one end of the string in his mouth and the other end he twisted around his fingers. It was then that he began to pluck my eyebrows! He would twist the string around the hairs on my face and with a quick snap of his wrist begin to pull them out one by one. Not only did he do my eyebrows I felt some stinging sensations around the sides of my face as well. When he was finished he spun me around to face his mirror. I began to laugh because my face looked too manicured for me. I see myself as a warrior; not as a boy band member!

Oct 21 – Tonight all of the American training teams are invited to have dinner with the Iraqi National Police General and his staff. I knew this wouldn’t be much of a surprise for me because I have partaken of Iraqi cuisine many times since my deployment here in Iraq. I have to be honest my officer and another sergeant friend of mine went to the American mess hall one hour before this meal was to take place! We had trained hard that day with the Iraqis and we were hungry and we weren’t in the mood to sit a meal and pick over the food we didn’t like. We had to be there at seven o’clock to take our seats. They opened the double doors to the Iraqi mess hall right on time. At this compound the Americans eat separately from the Iraqis. Inside there were about 5 rows of those white plastic tables and chairs that you see at a family picnic. I personally hate sitting in those chairs because they feel like toy furniture and I feel like I’m going to break them. I am 6’2 ft, and weigh 250 pounds! On each table were plates full of food waiting for us. In the middle of the table were bottles of water and cans of Coke. The items on the dinner plates began with as always bread. Also there was this tomato base dish that had pieces of okra in it and a quarter part of baked chicken that in essence really looked appetizing. Everything looked pretty good until the attendants brought out to every table this big platter for every table that had a bed of rice that was covered with these brown looking pieces of pilaf. On top of the rice were pieces of boiled meat that were of all colors green!!!! I quickly took a quick glance to see the expressions on the faces of my teammates. I had to bite down hard on my cheeks to prevent myself from laughing hysterically at them! In Iraqi culture the meal is the event where you show respect by accepting their hospitality by eating their food and drinking their drink. I was positioned at the end of the table which was a good ways from the Iraqi officers who couldn’t see what I was doing on my plate. I had one of our interpreters in front and on the side of me, so I was safe. The meal went on without a distraction. The room was full of Iraqi and American conversation. It was one big noisy dining hall. The Iraqi colonel that my team works with was sitting just three chairs down from me. During this year he has grown fond of me and the officer that I work with. We have on many occasions joined him for a glass of chai. We also were given the honor to break the fast of Ramadan with him as well. One observation that I have noticed about being here in Iraq is that I know that I am a big guy. Every time when food is served they all assume that I eat a lot. I also catch my team setting me up as well. When they are offered food that they don’t want to eat, they will make the host offer it to me. The truth is that I have become so good at giving the perception that I have eaten their food. Well as I was finishing up my meal the Iraqi colonel grabbed a fist full of chicken from his plate and offered it to one of our officers. I saw the look on his face when this happened. He looked like a five year in kindergarten that was being made to eat his vegetables. I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other but I saw my officer motion in my direction. It was then that the Iraqi colonel’s eyes met mine. He motioned his hand towards me. It was the hand that had the fist full of chicken. His fingers were covered with rice too. I also too began to regress back to kindergarten. I was cornered. So, I raised my plate and extended it towards his greasy hands! He opened up his fingers and the chicken fell onto my plate! I attempted to display my best smile of gratitude towards him. I looked up and my teammates were looking at me trying to contain their laughter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Well being the great performer that I am I was able to get up from my seat to go get some watermelon from the dessert table that was located across the room. I craftily removed my dinner plate with the disgusting chicken on it and make my way to the trash barrels. On my way over to the trash I was able to grab another plate in which I would place my dessert on and return to my place at the table. Well no one was the wiser. We finished our meal with a few speeches by the Iraqi General and his staff. I quickly headed back to my room. I was so thankful that we had eaten only a few hours before this whole thing had started!

Oct 23 – There is an issue that deeply grieves me. This war and probably it is true of all other wars before has really costs soldiers so much in the areas of their personal lives. I am hearing about so many marriages and relationships that are breaking up as a result of this war. I know part of the responsibility lies with the individual. Some soldiers when they heard that they were being deployed quickly married their girlfriends or some person who they thought was that special someone. Without understanding the strong commitment that it would take to uphold a relationship through a year of separation many soldiers found out to their displeasure what their relationships were really made of. Then there were established marriages that had pre-existing issues and this deployment was a perfect opportunity for a spouse to disclose her or his true feelings about their relationship. In some cases it was a good time for that spouse to rediscover their new found freedom. What worries me is that there will be soldiers returning home to face all kinds of domestic issues. The military has and will give us mandatory ‘returning home’ classes. This is okay but I think more is needed. As for me I want all of you to know about the one important in my life. She is my wife Wendy. She has been my spouse of 25 years! She has weathered the storm with issues concerning my son and has overcome the pressures of dealing with my daughter’s previous health issues. While I have been away she has held down our home responsibilities as well. Before I left to go away with the army she has quietly sat in the shadows as I became the ‘Sgt. Roy’ that you all know. She has waited for me at the end of many curtain calls when I given her time with me away to so many people. When I have given the world my best for the day and I don’t have anything else to give she is still there waiting for me. Many of you don’t know the worse about me but she does and yet she still loves me. For me this is how the war has affected my relationship with my wife as well. I have embraced a deep appreciation of what she means to me and our children. Many of you don’t know her. Many of you don’t even know what she looks like. That’s okay because she prefers it that way. I know without her there is no Sgt. Roy the fitness instructor; there is no Sgt. Roy the motivator trainer; there is no Sgt. Roy the soldier. I know the biggest room in my house is the room for improvement! We are coming into a wonderful time in our married life together. I am so excited about it! She deserves my best before anyone else. I am truly blessed. I would like to ask one thing of you all and that is your prayer and support these soldiers that are coming home to resume their lives with their families. The transition will be difficult for some of them. For some they will have to salvage their marriages through counseling and support of their friends and family. Some will have no one to come home to but they really could use a friend that could just listen to them and help them to move on. Just keep these soldiers in your prayers as they reunite with their families.

Oct 25 – I love working with the Australians here. It’s like working with a bunch of Steve Irwin’s (bless his soul) from the ‘Crocodile Hunter’ television show. I’m riding with one of the guys who work here. We have a truck load of Iraqi policemen in the back and we are headed out to the training site. “How’s it going mate?” he asked me in that all too well known accent. “I’m doing alright, I’m just trying to get motivated for this morning training” I reply hoping to hear his opinion about the training here. We quickly exchange names and pleasantries. I found out that he is from the city of Sydney. I told him that Australia was on my list as one of my dream trips that I hope to visit one day. He quickly gave me his feedback about Sydney and how much I would like it. The Australians that work here don’t wear military uniforms. When they go out on mission which is mostly for the security of this compound, they will wear that ‘Crocodile Hunter’ like looking uniforms which consists of a brown short sleeve shirt with matching shorts and brown boots. They wear body armor and a oversized sun flop hat. We had a few minutes before we arrived at our training location when he asked me about what was the American response to the war. I could tell that he really wanted the inside, non-CNN bias story of how Americans felt about the war. I gave him what I thought was an objective view of how most Americans were growing tired of the war. The exuberant costs associated with funding such a war and the sacrifices in American lives were issues sensitive issues facing our nation. I will not use this blog or my platform to persuade anyone to change their political views. What I will do is write about the sites, sounds and people that I come across in my journey. It will be up you all to make up your own minds. This was also how I left it with my new found Australian friend as he pulled the truck into the training area to let us off.

Oct 27 – The time here has gone relatively fast. It’s been boring but to have 30 days free of not thinking about being attacked or blown up has certainly been a pleasure. My officer and I are making plans on the work that we have to do to get prepared for our replacements. There are several inventories that must be done along with items that I have to order. This is what I call ‘good work’. This is the work that we have to do to clear this camp and fly out of here! I can’t wait to get started!

Oct 28 – A case of sadness hits me this morning. I guess it dawns on me that the relationships that I have formed with some of these Iraqi men are slowly coming to an end. There are about 10 people here that I am good friends with. Some are officers, interpreters, policemen; a few are mechanics, and one is the guy who makes our chai tea. They all know that my time here is drawing to a close. One night my interpreter turns and asks me “Lewis will I see you again?” I look at him and all that I could say is “hey friends are made forever. I will always carry you in my heart.” The phrase “in my heart” is an Iraqi term that is said when an Iraqi man respects another. I have spent a whole year with these people learning their language and customs! The challenges that they face as a people don’t even equal the problems that they will have to face as a nation. I did make this promise to him. I told him that if ever he should come to America he can find me anywhere! Everyone knows Sgt. Roy! I went on to tell them that I am loud, obnoxious and live in one of the greatest cities in the south called Charlotte, North Carolina! In the meantime I told him that right now he has a responsibility to make this country safe and stable. When I make friends, I make friends for life! It will be hard to say good bye to them all but thanks to technology they all have email accounts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sgt. Roy's Journal

(August - October 2007)